New here

[chattykathy]

My partner's mom has just begun to have problems. She's become very confused, extremely anxious and forgets things that have either just happened or were discussed earlier. We have taken her to the doctors 3 times this week. She's had her 'waterworks' tested and all seems OK and she's been booked into a 'memory clinic' in mid-August. Is there anythig else we can do? She's 81 and lives alone. She has good neighbours but they, understandably, don't want the responsibility of looking after her. My partner and I live ony 5 miles away and can visit daily after work ( we both work full time) and he has a brother who lives about 70 miles away but who hasn't been to visit his mom for nearly a year! I call him the chocolate teapot!!
Can we hurry up the process of getting her diagnosed and is there anything else we should be arranging? We are both really worried about her future care etc. and would appreciate any advice you can offer.
Thanks in advance

 

[sallyc]

Hi Kathy. Welcome to TP. I'm sorry about the circumstances that led you here, but I know you'll get loads of advice and support. The diagnosis process can take a while, and I'm not sure what you could do to speed it up. I think the first thing is not to panic. It's easy to say that, I know. Not as easy to do. My Grandad was diagnosed 2.5 years ago and still lives on his own, albeit with some support from carers and family. I'm sure others will be along soon to help more.

 

[Izzy]

I wonder if you could arrange a social work assessment to see if her needs could be met by providing some support. Izzy x

 

[christine_batch]

Hello Kathy,

Welcome to Talking Point. More peole will be on line to help but downloading Alzheimer's Fact Sheets will help and there is always your Local Alzheimer's Branch who will give you help and advice.

Best wishes
Christine

 

[chattykathy]

Thank you all for your prompt replies!! I think we may be getting over anxious ourselves but will try to remain calm. It's good to know there is help out there and reading other posts has made me realise the difficulties people are facing - a bit scary as well!

I'll keep coming back

Many thanks

Kathy

 

[Norrms]

Hiya

Hiya Kathy, yes it is all a little bit scarey but please try not too worry to much, the support and advice you will get from this forum is invaluable, pleased you have joined us but sad that you had too, best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Jo1958]

Kathy, hi
Welcome to TP, I'm so sorry that you've had to though. It's a good idea to start keeping a diary, just note down things as they happen and how mom feels, reacts, copes or doesn't cope with different things, events, people. It will help you to understand what is going on and takes some of the pressure off if you and your husband both keep it up to date, the health professionals really appreciate the help of a timeline of events and it means you don't have to explain as much, just let them review it.
I hope you get some help and support soon and mom can stay at home as long as she is happy and safe there.
Take good care of yourself, best wishes, Jo

 

[JackMac]

Hi Kathy

If you have really serious concerns it is worth ringing and asking for the assessment to be brought forwards.
We did this with my mum. The thing was, to us she was really different in the way she behaved but when she got assessed, the doctor said she was borderline alzheimers.

If she is a risk to herself though, then its worth calling. If she has become very confused then maybe it is dangerous for her to be on her own. My mum is only early on with this disease and yet we've had safety issues already like leaving the stove on.

 

[spicegirl41]

New User Too

Hi Kathy, I'm a new user too, my husband has had the disease since Feb 1997, when I took him to the docs the first time I knew he had the onset of Alzeimers as his mum had it, but the doc said it was age related and to go back in 6 months, I took him to see another doctor about 2months later and he said straight away that he had it so he referred him to a consultant there and then, then the memory team came, gave him a test and confirmed it. He was on medication almost immediately. I dont think you can rush these things but if the score is low in the memory test then things should get moving more quickly. Stay positive.

 

[CaPattinson]

new

Sorry, I don't have any advice just wanted to welcome you and say Hi kathy, I'm Chris

 

[chattykathy]

Thanks again for your support. Keeping a diary sounds like a brilliant idea, Jo. We're thinking of maybe paying to see a private consultant initially so we don't have to wait so long. Can anyone recommend one in the Birmingham area?
As an update, she's not been too bad since Sunday, the memory is still a bit muddled but she hasn't been so anxious
Thanks again x

 

[Charlie23]

Hi Kathy, welcome. I am new here too, as of last night, but it is a very helpful and welcoming forum. Mainly it's made me realise that there are others out there experiencing the same stages you've known, are going through now... or will go through. Good luck with everything, take it as it comes, that's all I can advise xx