Hi Everyone (apologies in advance of the long post)
It’s taken me a while to register here. I’ve been reading posts and would like some support. My situation is as such - my father passed away end of November last year, prior to that my mum had a fall and ended up in hospital and has since not been home and is currently residing in a care home.
She has thyroid cancer - which although is stable has not helped her situation. For the last year and most noticeably in the last 6 months my mum has deteriorated significantly. She cannot live by herself and due to her fall when she was on her own and the state she had the house it wasn’t safe for her to go back. Whilst my father was in hospital she didn’t clean the house - left papers everywhere, clothes everywhere and it just wasn’t safe for her anymore
Thing is she hasnt been officially diagnosed with any form of dementia but being her daughter I have seen how she has deteriorated- some examples are here
She calls me multiple times a day (10-15 times a day) forgets we have spoken and repeats the conversation - she doesn’t like being in the home and thinks everyone there has dementia and she is fine. She wants to go home but I know she can’t - when I have gone to visit her she still thinks she lives at home and insists on going to “get me something from the shops” up the road. She has moments of paranoia - and times when she just forgets where she is going - yet some visits she is quite normal and those are the good days
I live 2 hours from my mum and am an only child with a full time job and a young family so it’s really hard to visit all the time - although I have been going to visit her at least 3 times a month (if not more) since November last year (at one point it was every week)
I have asked for her to be formally assessed but every time someone comes to see her she refuses to speak to them so they can’t asses her
She is getting worse and called me the other night at 1am scared and wanted someone to go and stay with her
The home have seen her deteriorate and say she will change her clothes multiple times a day but when I speak to my mum she thinks nothing is wrong
It’s really hard to manage and I don’t know what’s right - all I know is that she can’t be on her own and needs help. The home are amazing with her but daily I hear from her how she wants to go home and hates it there and I feel so guilty - but I don’t know what else to do
I’m just posting here for some reassurance I guess that this is normal and I know it’s a long journey ahead but writing this is my first step of realising that not only have I lost my dad but I’ve lost my mum too
Monique
It’s taken me a while to register here. I’ve been reading posts and would like some support. My situation is as such - my father passed away end of November last year, prior to that my mum had a fall and ended up in hospital and has since not been home and is currently residing in a care home.
She has thyroid cancer - which although is stable has not helped her situation. For the last year and most noticeably in the last 6 months my mum has deteriorated significantly. She cannot live by herself and due to her fall when she was on her own and the state she had the house it wasn’t safe for her to go back. Whilst my father was in hospital she didn’t clean the house - left papers everywhere, clothes everywhere and it just wasn’t safe for her anymore
Thing is she hasnt been officially diagnosed with any form of dementia but being her daughter I have seen how she has deteriorated- some examples are here
She calls me multiple times a day (10-15 times a day) forgets we have spoken and repeats the conversation - she doesn’t like being in the home and thinks everyone there has dementia and she is fine. She wants to go home but I know she can’t - when I have gone to visit her she still thinks she lives at home and insists on going to “get me something from the shops” up the road. She has moments of paranoia - and times when she just forgets where she is going - yet some visits she is quite normal and those are the good days
I live 2 hours from my mum and am an only child with a full time job and a young family so it’s really hard to visit all the time - although I have been going to visit her at least 3 times a month (if not more) since November last year (at one point it was every week)
I have asked for her to be formally assessed but every time someone comes to see her she refuses to speak to them so they can’t asses her
She is getting worse and called me the other night at 1am scared and wanted someone to go and stay with her
The home have seen her deteriorate and say she will change her clothes multiple times a day but when I speak to my mum she thinks nothing is wrong
It’s really hard to manage and I don’t know what’s right - all I know is that she can’t be on her own and needs help. The home are amazing with her but daily I hear from her how she wants to go home and hates it there and I feel so guilty - but I don’t know what else to do
I’m just posting here for some reassurance I guess that this is normal and I know it’s a long journey ahead but writing this is my first step of realising that not only have I lost my dad but I’ve lost my mum too
Monique