New here - looking for advice in general

[RachelN76]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here, and possibly not in the right place at all.

My mother has been in hospital for about 8 weeks now (moving around to various different places) and is finally going to a temporary placement in a care home tomorrow.

In June this year she was 100% independent, driving a car, helping me look after my kids, could probably walk a mile or two (slowly!) - in general, nothing wrong with her except a poor appetite.

She suddenly went massively down hill, and basically now she is bed bound, doubly incontinent and incredibly confused. The doctors are putting this down to delirium due to a UTI. I'm not completely convinced (mainly because she's never had a UTI!). I've been told that it's delirium until it persists for more than 12 months, and then they will look at other possible causes for the confusion.

So she really wants to come home, but I don't see at all how that's going to be possible. So I've suggested she might want to live with us, but she's not overly keen.

Anyway, I thought I would come here to see how other people manage, and get some advice and tips (and maybe just vent a bit as well!).

Look forward to talking to you all.
Rachel

 

[Izzy]

Hi and welcome to TP. I'm glad you'e found the forum. I'm sure you'll get lots of help and support there.

I know from experience of my mum and also my husband that UTIs are the most horrendous things. I can even remember the day my husband started with his first one. I just couldn't understand what was wrong with him. It was the first of many. My mum became very aggressive when she had a UTI.

I see you're thinking of your mum coming to stay with you. Thin very carefully about that. My mum lived with us and we survived it but it was not plain sailing.

 

[Moose1966]

New here

Welcome to this site, it's very good for help, advice or just to browse through and realise your not alone, my mum August 2016 was driving , cooking , shopping , meeting friends for lunch etc like your mum very independent , she did suffer from anxiety but we dealt with it and new how to reassure her. She was 84 and healthy and happy. She fell down her stairs end of September 2016 and since then has been in hospital, rehabilitation units , back into hospital , psychiatric units , home for six weeks with care package and then the tough decision to place her into care home. During this time she had pneumonia , broke some ribs following fall, UTI's and was then diagnosed with AZ in December 2016. She is paranoid, hallucinations , very frail on her feet now uses a Zimmer frame but her memory is good, she is on a variety of meds for her symptoms. Sadly it seems she has gone from this amazing lady to what has been so far 12 months of horrible times. When you feel alone there are friends here that can help you gather and make some sense of how quickly the elderly can decline.

 

[RachelN76]

Thank you for the welcome.

I'm off to have a look round now.

Mum has moved into a nursing home today - and I don't like it!
She moved at lunchtime, I went to see her after work at about 4:30pm, and she didn't have a call bell or anything, and no drinks in reach - in fact nothing in reach.

She wanted to go to the toilet, but when I found the staff they were doing meals and so they aren't allowed to take people to the toilet, so they just have to wait in soiled pads.

Then mum sent me to the shop for some things, and when I got back after about thirty minutes she was trying to climb out of bed, and was hanging over the cot side. Apparently she'd heard a man shouting and though someone was hurting me, so she'd tried to get out to come and help me.

I think we've got her all sorted now, but I'm not sure it bodes well for the next few weeks.