Hi there,
I have recently, about 2 months ago, begun caring for my mum who was living in a retirement home before that. I am finding it difficult but I am all she has as my sister lives in Australia.
Personality wise she has changed totally in the last six to nine months from an active, busy person to someone who sits on the the sofa all day apart from mealtimes and those little visits we all have to make. Atm she is getting her own breakfast and lunch, the same things every day, but at least she does it independently. My other half cooks a main meal for the three of us in the evening.
She is on anti depressants although it took me from last June to November to get her to have the prescription filled. She has had blood tests done where she was living and here with us, all came back fine. We are waiting for an appointment for the memory clinic, she scored 10/28 at the docs, but apparently that will be another six weeks.
My husband has been brill but he starts work at 1.30 in the morning so goes to bed at 6.00 at the latest. We then sit the two of us all evening in almost total silence. I make conversation but it doesn't last very long. I used to write in the evenings or sew, now I knit because it's easier and I can sit with her. Our taste in tv programmes are poles apart and although I've offered knitting stuff, books, magazines etc she doesn't 'have the energy for any of it and is too muddle headed anyway'. She is frustrated by her lack of energy but does nothing to help herself feel better about things, but maybe this is as good as it's going to get.
I could go on but I won't or I'll sound even more selfish than I do already. Writing it down doesn't make it any easier but it does help to share.
T
I have recently, about 2 months ago, begun caring for my mum who was living in a retirement home before that. I am finding it difficult but I am all she has as my sister lives in Australia.
Personality wise she has changed totally in the last six to nine months from an active, busy person to someone who sits on the the sofa all day apart from mealtimes and those little visits we all have to make. Atm she is getting her own breakfast and lunch, the same things every day, but at least she does it independently. My other half cooks a main meal for the three of us in the evening.
She is on anti depressants although it took me from last June to November to get her to have the prescription filled. She has had blood tests done where she was living and here with us, all came back fine. We are waiting for an appointment for the memory clinic, she scored 10/28 at the docs, but apparently that will be another six weeks.
My husband has been brill but he starts work at 1.30 in the morning so goes to bed at 6.00 at the latest. We then sit the two of us all evening in almost total silence. I make conversation but it doesn't last very long. I used to write in the evenings or sew, now I knit because it's easier and I can sit with her. Our taste in tv programmes are poles apart and although I've offered knitting stuff, books, magazines etc she doesn't 'have the energy for any of it and is too muddle headed anyway'. She is frustrated by her lack of energy but does nothing to help herself feel better about things, but maybe this is as good as it's going to get.
I could go on but I won't or I'll sound even more selfish than I do already. Writing it down doesn't make it any easier but it does help to share.
T
You are doing your very best to look after your Mum, but if this is all new to you, it can be very scary sometimes. Not only that, accepting a new person into your home, (even if it is your Mum) is likely to be tough at first, but with good will on both sides, and a generous chunk of love thrown in - you'll sort it out between the three of you.
