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new guilt

pins tony

Registered User
Oct 20, 2014
213
bristol
Hi to all of you out there.well here goes I have decided to try to live some sort off life again.if I don't do anything I think I will go MAD.i have gone on a internet dating site I fill so guilty but I need female company just company.I feel like I am cheating on my lovely June but I know she has gone and I need to move on has any one any advice or am I just selfish.how long can the torment go on
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,132
Yorkshire
Hi pins tony
So maybe it is time for you to seek out some company, that's not selfish, it's a human need.
Maybe though, from your reaction, it's not really the right time for dating as such - messaging people on the site may help you get chatting again and be a beginning of a more social you (please do make it clear to any ladies exactly what you are and are not offering so no-one is even remotely misled)
There are other possibilities, as well. Have you thought of volunteering - maybe in a charity shop or to help out at a lunch club or whatever is local to you - that way you get to work with others, meet a whole bunch of people and make a difference which is satisfying.
Or join an evening class, something you've always fancied doing - or something you never thought you'd try.
There are lots of clubs in my area that have monthly meetings with speakers - and the library has coffee mornings with talks. Is there anything like that near you?
I've found that most of the events I go to have more women attending than men - and because we are all there for a reason, eg an interest in local history, there's something to chat about which makes introductions less awkward.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Great ideas Shedrech. I had just got around to thinking about taking this path but it is quite a while since my husband died and I am more free now Mum has died too. I think it is friendship that goes out of the window when we are caring - or at least it was with me - I simply didn't have time for friends and they understandably drifted off (all but the few stalwarts) so now is the time to bloom again lol
 

Kitten71

Registered User
Jul 22, 2013
157
East Yorkshire
Hi to all of you out there.well here goes I have decided to try to live some sort off life again.if I don't do anything I think I will go MAD.i have gone on a internet dating site I fill so guilty but I need female company just company.I feel like I am cheating on my lovely June but I know she has gone and I need to move on has any one any advice or am I just selfish.how long can the torment go on
Hi there, have you heard of U3A? That might be something that would be ideal for you. My stepdad became a member after my mum died and it turned his life around. It's basically a group of like minded people who get involved in any activity you can imagine, from things like walking groups, history groups, bowling, playing card games, learning a language, drama, singing, anything really. My stepdad has made some great new friends and even struck up a companionship with a lady he met there. He's so busy these days that I hardly get to see him, but that's one less worry on my mind. I hope you find what you're looking for very soon :)