Hello everyone. It's difficult to know where to start really. My mother is 89 yrs old and has been suffering from memory loss for some time now. I was working overseas for 20 years and in 1997 returned as both parents were suffering from various problems (physical as well) so I thought I'd better come back tohelp them when needed. After trying a couple of different jobs I settled into the one I'm in, got a flat 20 mins from Mum and Dad and that's how it all began. Mum doesn't trust anyone and when she can't find something she blames everyone else. Dad died in December 2007 so i moved in with mum as she can't cope with being alone. since Dad's death she has deteriorated and even called the police a couple of weeks ago as she though my brother (who visits once a week but now he's been disgnosed with prostrate cancer won't be coming for a while) and I were in league to make her think she is losing her mind. She had lost her easter cards and her keys !!! Anyway last Thursday I took her for a memory assessment and the psychiatrist told her that she must inform the DVLA that she'd seen him. He confirmed that she has dementia but could not advise whether it was Alzheimers or Vascular. He's writing to the GP so i don't know what will happen next. i reminded mum that she has to tell the DVLA but she refuses as without the car she feels helpless. I feel like a traitor taking her to the memory assessment and possible causing her to lose her license. I understand that the place she's in is frightening for her but sometimes she is so aggressive and accusatory that I get really upset and even considered walking out and finding another flat. But I realise that she couldn't live alone all the time. I work full time and get home about 6pm. Somethimes she cooks, sometimes we have some strange concoctions (a bit like Letitia in the vicar of Dibley) but whenever possible I cook when I get in. Since the memory assessment we have had a good few days but today it started again. Four phone calls accusing me of taking her keys. Everythings a bit jumbled up - sorry if it doesn't flow well but it's all in my head at once. Hope there's someone out there who's dealing with similar issues.