Now, into month 2 after the diagnosis I find it so hard to deal with some of the new "firsts" that have been happening. For the first time, sometimes when he speaks Ron does not always make sense - it's not that the words or sentence structure is wrong, it's just that I can't follow his thought or "get" what it is he's saying. It seems like the confusion in his head just comes through. Also, he's almost given up on every job around the house - but traditionally he's always fed and put the dog to bed. Just last week, he forgot to do that a couple of times - so I've asked - Did you put Patches to bed? Then last night he answered yes, but I found later actually that he didn't, the same when he came home on his little scooter and I asked, - Did you remember to plug it in, and he said yes, but in fact it wasn't. After the flurry of initial appointments is over, I find that settling into this new reality is very difficult and actually depressing. I have no control and feel that decisions regarding our lives are completely in the control of the disease and I have few choices left, I am shuffled forward in this queue, I don't know how long it is and I don't know exactly where it is going, and I certainly am not able to get out. I know nothing said here can really change things, it just helps to write this down and look forward to your kind responses. I'm feeling vulnerable as this week is the appointment at UBC.