A roller coaster of a week - huge highs and equally huge lows. The good news is my husband is now eating more often in the ward's dining room along with the other patients. Sometimes he gets pushed there in a wheelchair when he is feeling particularly stroppy and says he cant walk. Other times he will walk himself into the dining room when everyone gets up to go there. Sometimes the carers feed him and sometimes he feeds himself. Only one day did he completely refuse all food including fortisips.
But what is this next bit about please? At the end of last week I was taking food in and feeding him although by Friday he'd decided he could do it for himself. I thought that was brilliant until he said 'Once I've eaten this will you go please?'. I could see a bit of anger rising in him so thought I'd better go as quickly as possible to save him any stress. (Thank you for your guidance on this matter on TP). He was happy with that. The next time I walked onto the ward he swore at me to go - I'll leave you to decide the words he used! (not something he would normally do). Clearly he doesn't want me there at the moment. He seems happy for me to drop his meals off, have just a few words with him, tell him I love him and as long as I go pretty quickly after that all is well. He doesn't get rattled. But it is clear he doesn't want to spend time with me outside meal times either so I am only seeing him for about 10 minutes a day now in 2, 5minute bursts. Strangely I am not enormously hurt by this - well not at the moment anyway - but I am struggling to unravel why my presence causes him to be anxious when what I hoped I was doing was trying to reduce his stress of not being at home.
from Sammyb
But what is this next bit about please? At the end of last week I was taking food in and feeding him although by Friday he'd decided he could do it for himself. I thought that was brilliant until he said 'Once I've eaten this will you go please?'. I could see a bit of anger rising in him so thought I'd better go as quickly as possible to save him any stress. (Thank you for your guidance on this matter on TP). He was happy with that. The next time I walked onto the ward he swore at me to go - I'll leave you to decide the words he used! (not something he would normally do). Clearly he doesn't want me there at the moment. He seems happy for me to drop his meals off, have just a few words with him, tell him I love him and as long as I go pretty quickly after that all is well. He doesn't get rattled. But it is clear he doesn't want to spend time with me outside meal times either so I am only seeing him for about 10 minutes a day now in 2, 5minute bursts. Strangely I am not enormously hurt by this - well not at the moment anyway - but I am struggling to unravel why my presence causes him to be anxious when what I hoped I was doing was trying to reduce his stress of not being at home.
from Sammyb