1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. bettiboop129

    bettiboop129 Registered User

    Oct 31, 2015
    My father has dementia and lately his symptoms have been bad. He is really confused most of the time and he has started to wander outside naked and is wanting to leave the house late at night. when I've tried to stop him he has been really aggressive with me. I'm so frightened to be alone with him now and I need some help. Is it time to start thinking of a care home as in struggling to cope. Who should I contact?
  2. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hi Nettie, welcome to TP
    You need to contact your local social services and ask for an assessment for a vulnerable adult and tell them it's urgent and that aggression is involved, it's a big step but it's one you need to take and the sooner the better.
    You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to (so feel free not to) but has he been diagnosed, are the doctors aware, is he on medication, are you in the UK, none of which you have to answer but it can help to target the advise.
    No one should have to live in fear, we're all here to help if we can.
    (((((big hug))))) keep posting.
  3. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    Auckland, New Zealand
    I'm not in the UK, but i's suggest his doctor and Alzheimers Soc. No wonder you're struggling! Hope you find help soon.
  4. bettiboop129

    bettiboop129 Registered User

    Oct 31, 2015
    Hi thank you for your response. He was diagnosed around 5 years ago and the doctors and social services are fully aware. He was given medication but it increased his inappropriate (sexual) behaviour so they took him off it. He can't be left alone now and needs constant care. He won't bathe anymore, he steals from shops (can't leave him home alone)when he's taken out and is abusive and inappropriate to most people. He won't allow us to get any carers in to help and the aggressive behaviour now is terrifying. The social services number we have is closed of a weekend and I really feel we need help today and can't wait till Monday. Any help would be really appreciated. Netti
  5. bettiboop129

    bettiboop129 Registered User

    Oct 31, 2015
    We're in the UK by the way
  6. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    North Yorkshire
    Hello and. A. Big. T P. Welcome from me also hope you find it useful. And friendly. :) As. I have done. So sorry too read about your Father. How awful for you both. And. I. Know in my County. Adult Services have a Emergency phone Number. Fully understand the number you have is shut over the weekend. How ever could you not look for a proper number. ? Sorry if this is.not.helpful.

    Thinking of you both. And sending lots of support.

    Love and hugs.

    Grove. X x x
  7. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    The next time this happens, phone the police, on 999, he is a vulnerable person, and you are in fear of him.

    Do get an incident number, this will be needed to get the SS's attention.

    By him going in somewhere that can cope, you are doing the very best for him.

  8. Mrsbusy

    Mrsbusy Registered User

    Aug 15, 2015
    Try googling Mental Health Crisis Line, maybe put in your area or health authority and it may give you their details. If not try phoning your local hospital as I'm sure you could get their phone number from the operator, even your local police may give it to you.

    If you phone the police on 101 you could actually ask them to flag your address which means if you do have to call them out they have to attend and of course they will be pre warned of what the problem maybe. This is used in domestic violence situations as well.
    It also means two police officers come, and I'd imagine they'd choose the best for the job not two newbies, I'd hope.

    Act today, especially in the daytime as at night it all seems so much harder and you don't want to disturb people etc then in your mind, but it seems easier in the day somehow.
    You deserve better so start phoning. Good luck.
  9. Spiro

    Spiro Registered User

    Mar 11, 2012
    Phone the duty social worker - there should be someone on call. Have a look at your Dad's local council website and see if you can find the number.
  10. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    Bettiboop: our hospital has a mental health crisis number. You might check if yours does and bend someone's ear there? How far is your nearest hospital?

    I'd be scared stiff, too.
  11. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    Phone the Police-no one should have to face aggression. The Police won't hurt your Father, they will lodge a report with SS's or start the ball rolling so he is sectioned. It's not your Dad's fault but neither is it yours. I hope you have a safe place -a room with a lock on the door-where you can go for safety. Make sure you have a charged phone with you at all times.

    Your Dad sounds as though he needs an assessment and possibly some medication to help with the aggression.

    Take care and keep posting

    Lyn T XX

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.