Needing some practical advice

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by tedsmum, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. tedsmum

    tedsmum Registered User

    Jun 28, 2006
    34
    My 86 year father diagnosed with Lewy Bodies has been in a mental health assesment unit for a month and it is very clear now that he won't be going home again as he is deteriorating pretty fast. We will be going to a meeting next Monday to discuss what happens next but I am at a total loss about what to do regarding his finances. I have his debit card which I have taken some money out with to pay his bills which are now coming in. I keep thinking this will look bad when his finances are assessed but I don't know what else to do. His pension is still being paid into his account but I am also still paying his Council tax electicity gas tv licence insurance etc .
    Should I go for POA now or wait until he goes into a NH?
    It just feels like this is taking over my whole life and I try to visit as often as possible but still have to work and look after my family I am very quickly running out of annual leave and patience.
    Any advice as I'm sure many of you have been at this stage and managed to sort things out the advice I've had in the past has been a Godsend.

    Christine
     
  2. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Christine
    I think the sooner you go for POA the better....others have advised in the past that there is a website where you can download the form...
    It is an awful feeling of your life being taken over ....its just a question of getting the balance right(I'm still working on that!!!) Last year all my annual leave was taken up with looking after mum....I know the feeling
    Take care and keep posting
    love Wendy
     
  3. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Christine if dad can still understand what he is signing - do it now.
    Helen
     
  4. magpie

    magpie Registered User

    Jul 21, 2006
    25
    Bradford
    Hi Christine,
    Is your dad still mentally capable of making out an Enduring Power of Attorney - with your help of course - if he can understand what it is for and sign it, you can do all the filling in? If so you need to get him to do it NOW! You can download the form from the Public Guardianship Office site at www.guardianship.gov.uk , or your local Alzheimers Society branch might help - ours provides forms and advice on how to use them.

    When you have the signed & witnessed form you can take it to his bank and show it to them and they should then allow you to act for him - this even before he becomes mentally incapable. Once that does happen, though, you have to register the EPA with the Public Guardianship Office, and this will cost £120 and a bit of time - at least 35 days

    If he already is not capable, it's too late for an EPA and you will have to apply to be appointed as a receiver - details on the same site; again there is a cost and a delay.

    The thing is - if you have to register the EPA with the Office, or if you have to apply to them to become a receiver, everything gets put on hold while they consider the applications and you are stuck in limbo until they do.

    If it is possible for him to sign an EPA for you now, you’ll be able to put his affairs into some sort of order in advance of that. This is by far the simplest and I hope it’s possible for you.

    Have a look at the Society’s Information sheet on EPAs and receivership - it gives full details of all this, but it took me a while to puzzle out what it all meant in practice, so I’m hoping this summary, based on my own experience, is helpful.

    I’ve found all this stuff really difficult to do - not just because it is difficult - it IS!
    But also ‘cause you just don’t want it to be happening. I found myself putting it off for ages and have only just got my head round it - believe me, it feels better when you do!

    Best of luck and I hope it goes well
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Magpie, hope you don't mind me saying, but that was a really great reply!
    Helen
     
  6. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    If you don't get POA as soon as possible, you may not be able to use his account to pay any bills or buy him essential items. It sounded as though you might be paying for things with your own money. Don't do that as you won't get it back easily.
    We had to pay towards "top-up" fees for my MIL, as she could have gone into a respite centre for 4 weeks without paying, but she was very reluctant to go into care, and it was decided to move her into a private NH, where she could stay as long as she needed to.
    Her savings were less than £12,000, but she wasn't allowed to use her own money for the "top-up" fees, it had to be a third party. We had to pay £121 for the two weeks she was in care before she died. My BIL also paid that amount. It seemed rather unfair, as we can't afford that amount of money and we were given no choice. My MIL had enough money to pay several months of top-up fees from her own account. I can't see why relations have to pay this money. I have already lost work while my own Mum has been in hospital and moving to a NH.
    If someone needs to go into a care or nursing home, it is very easy to ring the Council and get a form so they don't need to pay any Council Tax.
    Kayla
     
  7. tedsmum

    tedsmum Registered User

    Jun 28, 2006
    34
    Thanks to you all for your great advice.Magpie you were spot on I just keep thinking if I don't do anything the problem will go away.I know I now have to face the next stage and sort out his finances and what to do with his house. I will sort out POA right away as he is just about capable of signing the form and who knows if he will be next week.
    Thanks for taking the time to reply you've all really been a great help as sometimes I think I'm the only one in this hellish situation and it helps so much to know I'm not.

    Christine
     
  8. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    Do get the that Enduring Power of Attorney signed fast

    Its very easy to sort out his finances once you have it

    The bank should take copies for you and certify them then you can use these copies to deal with the various institutions etc

    You are entitled to claim any costs you incur with travel /postage/ etc in dealing with his affairs
     
  9. tedsmum

    tedsmum Registered User

    Jun 28, 2006
    34
    Helena
    Thanks for the reply who do I go to if I want to claim my expenses as I think I will need to take unpaid leave next or sick leave if things get much worse!

    Christine
     
  10. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    As an attorney you have to keep proper accounts
    You will have access to your fathers money

    Providing you can show that all expenses were incurred on behalf of dealing with your fathers affairs you are entitled to claim the money

    You can check all this with the guardianship office
     
  11. tedsmum

    tedsmum Registered User

    Jun 28, 2006
    34
    Thanks again for your advice
     

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