Need Advice

[LYates1991]

My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years ago and up until six months ago he was only occasionally forgetful. This last six months his memory has declined quite rapidly. My grandmother doesnt seem to be able to accept that he has an illness and when she does she gets angry at repeating herself and snaps at him so my grandfather constantly thinks he is in trouble.

Of all my family myself and my husband are the only people around as all other immediate family live out of the area so if there is anything wrong I am always the one they call.

I am struggling now with both grandparents as it is becoming plainly obvious that some sort of care is going to be required soon and I have suggested this to my grandmother and given her ideas to see the doctor etc but she just doesnt do it.

Has anyone been in a similar situation that can give some advice?

Thanks in advance!

 

[Shedrech]

hello @LYates1991
a warm welcome to TP
it is tough to watch a couple struggling with living with dementia in their lives and not be able to help them - your grandparents are fortunate that you are there looking out for them
you might contact their GP and let them know what is happening - the GP may not be able to talk to you but has to make a note of any info you provide - maybe ask if they could invite your grandfather for an 'age related well man' appointment, or a review of his meds ... some GPs do this
could you find out about contacting their Local Authority Adult Services for an assessment of his care needs, and a carer's assessment for her, as they both have a right to these - and offer to do any paperwork for them, as your grandmother may simply be feeling overwhelmed by their situation
do let them know that their home is not at risk as it will not be taken into account in any financial assessment regarding care fees - some people won't ask for support as they believe they will be forced to sell their home

 

[father ted]

Hello LYates1991,

Shedrech has given you very good advice indeed and I agree with all that she says.

However I do note that you said your Grandmother doesn't seem to accept it so you might find resistance from her which may make it difficult for you to take any action. If so leave it for a few weeks and then try again. Is your Grandad on medication and if so I assume he is under the care of a memory clinic who hopefully will also be able to provide support to you all. Your Grandmother will snap at him because she is probably fearful of what the future holds and when you are there for a few hours and he repeats himself he will carry on doing so when you are not there and that is so wearing. Maybe if part of a care package was for your Gran to get out to meet her friends once or twice a week that would help her immensely. Good luck