My nan has been diagnosed with dementia and is currently in hospital. She is going into a home but is adament she's fine, she thinks we're all lying to her and if she does go into a home she's going to kick up such a fuss they will want her to leave. My mum stays at the hospital 6hrs a day with her and one minute she's pleasant and "normal" to my mum and the next she's calling my mum names, saying she can't believe we're putting her into a home and that she never expected that of her daughter and she'll never forgive her. My mum is obviously getting upset as she's doing everything she possibly can for my nan but she's just getting abuse. Can anyone offer any advice? We're desperate. We never know when we go to visit her what mood she'll be in or what we're in for.
Nan diagnosed with dementia, one minute fine then turns nasty with mum, help!
- Thread starter pinkfz
- Start date
Welcome pinkfz. Your mum is doing all the right things - and so are you. The good news is your nan is in the right place and she is being looked after. I'm sure your mum will get upset - it is good she can tell you about it.
The doctors should be able to stabilise your nan. But it takes time. It took 8 months in my mum's case.
The very best thing you can do is keep an eye on your mum and don't worry if she gets upset. She will be glad you are there.
The doctors should be able to stabilise your nan. But it takes time. It took 8 months in my mum's case.
The very best thing you can do is keep an eye on your mum and don't worry if she gets upset. She will be glad you are there.
Pink fiz my dad is exactly the same to my mum. As well as names he keeps saying no one loves him or cares for him. Then the verbal abuse starts.
I keep having to remind my mum that it isn't really my dad talking, he doesn't know what he is saying. She keeps saying perhaps that is what he really thinks, however many times I tell her it isn't she won't accept it. It's so hard.
Hope your nan has some better days soon
I keep having to remind my mum that it isn't really my dad talking, he doesn't know what he is saying. She keeps saying perhaps that is what he really thinks, however many times I tell her it isn't she won't accept it. It's so hard.
Hope your nan has some better days soon
Poor you and your poor mum! My mum may have dementia and shes basically Dr jekyll and MR Hide only way i can describe it!!
I think they abuse the ones who care the most because WE ARE THE ONES WHO PUT THEM THERE??
I am dreading this as I know I will always get it in the neck
If I was your mum i would walk away ignore her thats what I do now and its going to get worse.
Was rushed to hospital last night with bad back from stress SHE IS HERE GIVING OUT THAT I HAVNT HOOVERED
KKNOW OF A HOOVER THAT SUCKS UP PEOPLE ANYONE????????
I think they abuse the ones who care the most because WE ARE THE ONES WHO PUT THEM THERE??
I am dreading this as I know I will always get it in the neck
If I was your mum i would walk away ignore her thats what I do now and its going to get worse.
Was rushed to hospital last night with bad back from stress SHE IS HERE GIVING OUT THAT I HAVNT HOOVERED
KKNOW OF A HOOVER THAT SUCKS UP PEOPLE ANYONE????????
Nerak; I know of a person that sucks up hoovers! When Mother, Hubby and I moved from our last house to this one (and we did everything ourselves)...amongst other things, the hoover completely disappeared...Mother was a nightmare unpacking and rearranging everything (I would NEVER, EVER move house again whilst caring for someone with AD) Bottom line though is, amongst other precious keepsakes, the hoover completely vanished.
It is hard to bear but don.t forget that your nan's behaviour is due to her illness
My mum is a lovely sweet natured caring kind person but this illness has made her very aggressive and she has been assessed as an extreme dementia patient.
Whilst she was being cared for at home, she was kicking, hitting and shouting at us but it was not mum and we constantly reminded ourselves that it was not personal and was a reaction to the massive change to her world as the dementia progressed.
There is alot of medication that can be prescribed which can control these symptoms and hopefully that will help your nan. In the meantime, hang on in there and try to support each other as this is a very traumatic time for you all.
Best Wishes.
My mum is a lovely sweet natured caring kind person but this illness has made her very aggressive and she has been assessed as an extreme dementia patient.
Whilst she was being cared for at home, she was kicking, hitting and shouting at us but it was not mum and we constantly reminded ourselves that it was not personal and was a reaction to the massive change to her world as the dementia progressed.
There is alot of medication that can be prescribed which can control these symptoms and hopefully that will help your nan. In the meantime, hang on in there and try to support each other as this is a very traumatic time for you all.
Best Wishes.
Greywhy
I think that the hardest thing about this illness is the abuse if we could all say oh its the illness everytime we wouldnt be here ranting!!
I am a VERY strong person but am afraid to upset her as cant handle the abuse it hurts no matter how we analyse it.
At times ive thought if its not dementia ill shoot her myself she kicked me out of my home at xmas NOT to spoil the invisables yearly visit??
Im alot less angry that it is an illness BUT the abuse will always hurt.
"sticks and stones can break your bones BUT words will never hurt you" Bull****
I think that the hardest thing about this illness is the abuse if we could all say oh its the illness everytime we wouldnt be here ranting!!
I am a VERY strong person but am afraid to upset her as cant handle the abuse it hurts no matter how we analyse it.
At times ive thought if its not dementia ill shoot her myself she kicked me out of my home at xmas NOT to spoil the invisables yearly visit??
Im alot less angry that it is an illness BUT the abuse will always hurt.
"sticks and stones can break your bones BUT words will never hurt you" Bull****
