Yes @kevini and @Neveradullday! nailed it. It can be really hard when our loved ones don't recognise us but they are only 'using their best possible guess with the limited resources they now have'. It doesn't bother me as her only child but it's still very difficult for my Dad so can understand how distressing it is for a spouse.
My wife thinks I am someone else
- Thread starter Neil46
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Not recognising someone is a very common symptom of dementia - seeing a psychologist won't make any difference. You'll never solve the problem. Laughable advice.
Really. And how do you discuss with someone who has no idea what you are talking about.
@ChaceSoto you can't discuss anything with someone who doesn't have the mental capacity to comprehend it.
Can’t converse ,for 15 years worked. Dementia ,lots experience ,
…….. my husband now has vascular dementia alzimers ,different altogether
24 hours with dementia is very hard and demanding .converse.dosnt happen
I am with Kevin and the others who responded to this thread..I would love to have open and honest communication, any conversation would be lovely, @tonebear, But , this is not a psychological problem, any form of dementia is a physical change in the brain which unfortunately is progressive/degenerative. Not something a psychologist can fix, sadly
It can be hard and sometimes quite brutal, but I married her for better and for worse, in sickness and on health.
Like to say I did what I did for her, same as I know she'd have done it for me, that simple.
It wasn't fun over 10 years on the site and I'd do it all tomorrow if I could . K
Like to say I did what I did for her, same as I know she'd have done it for me, that simple.
It wasn't fun over 10 years on the site and I'd do it all tomorrow if I could . K
I am able to have a conversation with my husband but I have to pick the right time. However, when he's had enough, he will start talking nonsense. It would be impossible to make an appointment and guarantee that it would be any use.
I agree with @Kevinl - I also married for better or worse. He would have definitely done the same for me and probably done a better job.
I agree with @Kevinl - I also married for better or worse. He would have definitely done the same for me and probably done a better job.
This is a very difficult situation. It may be better to make concessions in this situation and accept the role of a friend if this will make your wife calmer and more comfortable. It is important to maintain a calm and caring attitude towards her, even if she does not recognize you as her husband.
Having read the things said on this thread and going though it myself, I do agree that the best course is to have her think you're a friend and her carer. It does not matter what title you come under as long as she accepts that you are there to help and are not going away. Anything for a quiet life. My lovely piglet tells me she is so greatful for my help almost every night although sometimes I can see she wonders who I am and why i stay. ( she will ask won't my family wonder where I am but always accepts that i have told them )
It can be quite funny and enlighten to hear what tony ( thats me) has done and where he's been, and what she thinks of him/me. But as long as it's all good, that's fine. A few nights back she said that he/me was very kind but sometime gets cross but that's because he gets frustrated. So on some level she is aware even if its a bit mixed up, which is gratifing. Must go, The Kraken awakes.
It can be quite funny and enlighten to hear what tony ( thats me) has done and where he's been, and what she thinks of him/me. But as long as it's all good, that's fine. A few nights back she said that he/me was very kind but sometime gets cross but that's because he gets frustrated. So on some level she is aware even if its a bit mixed up, which is gratifing. Must go, The Kraken awakes.
Since my husband woke up this morning he keeps saying he will miss me and he doesn't want me to go. He thinks we are work-colleagues and I am leaving the job. I tell him I'm his wife and his face lights up in a beaming smile and he says 'Oh - that's much better. I'm happy now'. A couple of minutes later he is saying he will miss me and doesn't want me to go. (I'm only going to the hairdresser and he will be coming with me).
mum (me) was with him all evening, while Leny (me) was out working night shift. Then mum said good night and Leny slipped out of the door, rang the bell after a few minutes and be let in.Sorted. Will go to bed together now in the same bed while 'mum' is sleeping in the guest room. Sigh. Yesterday was wilder, it was flipping and flopping every 10 minutes between being seen as myself and mum, all day and evening, mentally wearing
