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My recent struggles with being a care taker


Registered User
Feb 16, 2015
Wisconsin, usa
My grandma is 67 and has dementia. My grandpa has hired me to look after her Monday through Friday full time. I have to drive my grandma around everyday, give her stuff to do and try to make her happy. She is never happy with anything. My grandma has fogotten she has to take showers, wash her hair, brush her teeth, and many more things. She has a calendar where she keeps track of stuff we have to do everyday like get her hair done at the hair salon because she doesn't wash her hair herself. My grandma constantly worries about everything we do during the day, where we go, when we will eat lunch, what we will eat, where the bathrooms are, etc. And recently we have hired carers to come twice a week to help me get through the day because it can be overwhelming to be with her all day by myself. My grandma doesn't like the carers coming. She worries about when they will come and what she has to do when they are here. She says, "I don't like them coming. I just want the day by myself to do what I want." I never know how to respond to her. She is unhappy and complaining. I can understand why she doesn't want to be bothered by people coming in her home. I really need the help to be sane during the day. She is nice to the carers and it's good for her to have company to talk to other than myself. Does anyone have some advice to help my grandma get use to having carers provide care for her in her home? I should mention that my grandma doesn't know she has dementia anymore and doesn't think anything is wrong with her so she doesn't understand why carers are coming.


Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
Keep the carers coming in, she will get used to them.
Take all the help offered to you.
Washing, changing clothes, all can be a problem, choose your battles, only fight ones that must be won, safety and medication.
Not washing for a week, won't harm her, changing clothes, you may have to be crafty!
Its hard, but keep in contact, there is advice here, and sympathy.



Registered User
Jul 29, 2013
North East
Is there any places where you can both go where people with dementia and their carers go? The Alzheimer's society or age uk can probably put you in touch with such an organisation if there is one in your area. It may well be a lovely thing to do for you both. Worth a try at least. It would get you out and away alongside others who truly do understand.


Registered User
May 18, 2014
The situation with your grandma and the carers will change, but in its own time. Are they good carers? Do you trust them? Remember they are there to make things easier for you, take advantage of this time, leave the house or go lock yourself away in a quiet room.