My recent struggles with being a care taker

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by mserw647, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. mserw647

    mserw647 Registered User

    Feb 16, 2015
    3
    Wisconsin, usa
    My grandma is 67 and has dementia. My grandpa has hired me to look after her Monday through Friday full time. I have to drive my grandma around everyday, give her stuff to do and try to make her happy. She is never happy with anything. My grandma has fogotten she has to take showers, wash her hair, brush her teeth, and many more things. She has a calendar where she keeps track of stuff we have to do everyday like get her hair done at the hair salon because she doesn't wash her hair herself. My grandma constantly worries about everything we do during the day, where we go, when we will eat lunch, what we will eat, where the bathrooms are, etc. And recently we have hired carers to come twice a week to help me get through the day because it can be overwhelming to be with her all day by myself. My grandma doesn't like the carers coming. She worries about when they will come and what she has to do when they are here. She says, "I don't like them coming. I just want the day by myself to do what I want." I never know how to respond to her. She is unhappy and complaining. I can understand why she doesn't want to be bothered by people coming in her home. I really need the help to be sane during the day. She is nice to the carers and it's good for her to have company to talk to other than myself. Does anyone have some advice to help my grandma get use to having carers provide care for her in her home? I should mention that my grandma doesn't know she has dementia anymore and doesn't think anything is wrong with her so she doesn't understand why carers are coming.
     
  2. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,157
    Keep the carers coming in, she will get used to them.
    Take all the help offered to you.
    Washing, changing clothes, all can be a problem, choose your battles, only fight ones that must be won, safety and medication.
    Not washing for a week, won't harm her, changing clothes, you may have to be crafty!
    Its hard, but keep in contact, there is advice here, and sympathy.

    Bod
     
  3. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    Is there any places where you can both go where people with dementia and their carers go? The Alzheimer's society or age uk can probably put you in touch with such an organisation if there is one in your area. It may well be a lovely thing to do for you both. Worth a try at least. It would get you out and away alongside others who truly do understand.
     
  4. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    I wonder if these could help, http://www.alzwisc.org/
    if you haven't been in touch with them it might be useful to make contact with them,

    I hope you manage to get some help,

    Jeany x
     
  5. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,826
    UK
    The situation with your grandma and the carers will change, but in its own time. Are they good carers? Do you trust them? Remember they are there to make things easier for you, take advantage of this time, leave the house or go lock yourself away in a quiet room.
     

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