Hi all,
Well I thought I'd update you. My mum, who is the carer (or was until Dad went in the home), is a very strong lady, who doesnt show her emotions. Well tonight when I rang her to ask how she was, and to say I dont think it will be long before we have to tell Dad that he is staying permanently in the home, because he keeps asking!!!! Well she has never told me once that she loves me 'out loud', but tonight she said that she really appreciated the support that my sister and me had given her and that 'you know I love you both dearly don't you'. It meant the world to me to hear those words. I said mum I dont think I've ever heard you say that before and I love you too. Sorry if it sounds a bit soppy but, believe me, it means so much coming from my mum. She said, I may not cry outwardly, but I cry inwardly and those words said everything. She is dreading telling Dad and she said I need to prepare myself, because we all know he will be devestated, because he still understands hugely, which makes it even the more harder. She is going in for her tests next Tuesday so she wants to get that over and the operation (if she needs one) before we tell him. She just cant cope with it all at the same time. It is so hard, because although Dad is doubly incontinent now and has had frequent falls when he went out when living at home, he is still mentally easily able to hold a conversation and said to me yesterday, 'they wont tell me when I am going home', and I just dread the day soon when we have to crush him and say that day is not coming. I know that a lot of you have been through it, but I know it is going to be so hard to tell someone who understands, that they are not coming home after 50 yrs. It just feels so cruel sometimes. I wish he could come home, but I know he cant, because mum just cannot cope anymore. When he used to go into the home for respite he would chat with the residents and make an effort, but since he has been in there for 3 wks he doesnt do that anymore, because I think he is in a period of grieving and feels depressed and that he should be home. Sorry to ramble.
Snooky xx
Well I thought I'd update you. My mum, who is the carer (or was until Dad went in the home), is a very strong lady, who doesnt show her emotions. Well tonight when I rang her to ask how she was, and to say I dont think it will be long before we have to tell Dad that he is staying permanently in the home, because he keeps asking!!!! Well she has never told me once that she loves me 'out loud', but tonight she said that she really appreciated the support that my sister and me had given her and that 'you know I love you both dearly don't you'. It meant the world to me to hear those words. I said mum I dont think I've ever heard you say that before and I love you too. Sorry if it sounds a bit soppy but, believe me, it means so much coming from my mum. She said, I may not cry outwardly, but I cry inwardly and those words said everything. She is dreading telling Dad and she said I need to prepare myself, because we all know he will be devestated, because he still understands hugely, which makes it even the more harder. She is going in for her tests next Tuesday so she wants to get that over and the operation (if she needs one) before we tell him. She just cant cope with it all at the same time. It is so hard, because although Dad is doubly incontinent now and has had frequent falls when he went out when living at home, he is still mentally easily able to hold a conversation and said to me yesterday, 'they wont tell me when I am going home', and I just dread the day soon when we have to crush him and say that day is not coming. I know that a lot of you have been through it, but I know it is going to be so hard to tell someone who understands, that they are not coming home after 50 yrs. It just feels so cruel sometimes. I wish he could come home, but I know he cant, because mum just cannot cope anymore. When he used to go into the home for respite he would chat with the residents and make an effort, but since he has been in there for 3 wks he doesnt do that anymore, because I think he is in a period of grieving and feels depressed and that he should be home. Sorry to ramble.
Snooky xx