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My Mum has vascular dementia


Registered User
Feb 22, 2015
My two sisters and I are caring for our Mum who has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia.
Every time it is time to give Mum her medication she is not keen to take it. i tell her that her doctor has prescribed the tablets and she must take them,i tell mum what they are for and give them to her one by one. today a care worker helped her open her tablet blister pack and she refused to take the tablets, the care worker left a note for us saying the tablets were left on a table near her with water. when one of mum's family arrived they could not find the tablets. when mum refuses to take tablets how should i deal with it. looking forward to hearing from you.


Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
Hello and welcome to TP. You will find lots of support and advice here to help you and your sisters to care for your Mum.

The refusing of medication is very common. My husband would refuse and I would leave it 10 minutes and try again as if it was the first time if asking. Sometimes it would take several times of asking and sometimes a complete refusal

The carer leaving the tablets where your Mother could see was wrong. Leave you a note by all means or give you a call. May be have something put into your Mother's care records to say medication not taken can be put in a place that you agree to and your Mother is unlikely to go. You need to know whether medication has been taken or not, it could just be missing somewhere around the house or your Mum took it when the carer had gone.

It might be worth asking your Mother's GP if you can give medication covertly. Some medications should never be crushed or capsules opened so doctor's advice is needed. My husband takes one medication in a couple is spoonfuls of yoghurt and one in a drink of juice. He is long past swallowing a tablet.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2015
doesnt have to mean "the end"..

It has a lot to do with the patient ..personality..coping strategy etc etc it is NOT all doom and gloom.

I have vascular dementia. Age 73. Was a practice manager at a Doctors surgery where I had worked many years. Yes the complaint does have some impact on your life .....in that I did give up driving (but as I said I was in my seventies). After a family discussion I put my home up for sale and then helped my daughter & Son-in-law purchase a larger home (they do have two teenage boys - one at Uni one still at school. My room which would have been a sitting room is now my room with a lovely big window and my own furniture and not cluttered at all. I even have in one corner dark oak display unit ..another corner the TV and at the opposite end of the room is my bed ..wardrobe and chest of drawers all in cream and of course a fully fitted carpet in a biscuit shade..for me and my family it works perfectly .:


Registered User
Mar 12, 2015
My Mum's recent diagnosis for Vascular Dementia.

I've just joined TP because I wanted to be in touch with other people who have loved ones with Dementia and I didn't want to feel alone.
Mum was recently diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and previous to that, diagnosed with Lewybody Dementia. From the signs she's showing, sadly I feel she is entering her final stage in Life. Yet...she is a fighter, one of the die-hard breed in fact.

At present, she is living in a carehome where she has been since 2010 and I am grateful for the staff caring for her needs, etc. They contact me whenever she gets stressed, I speak to her on the phone and my voice acts like a pressure release valve, she calms downs almost immediately. She gets aggressive and stressed very easily. She has no problems socialising with other residents but she does tend to flare up now and then.

Often she begs.me to bring her home which I've thought of doing - since carehome fees are not cheap! But after talking with my Auntie (Mum's sister) and other members of the fsmily as well as friends - they've all said I would not be able to cope with Mum's demands and needs. So she remains living in the carehome. I try and see her whenever I can, even though she has no sense of time - I can skip the idd day and she would not be bothered.

Her biggest love was knitting but now, she gets frustrated with trying to cast stitches on her needles with difficulty in counting as well as hand/eye co-ordination. So she takes her frustration out on the one she loves - me. She's shouted, swore and even a couple of times, hit me. Once with her walking stick...it hurt. But I now know she doesn't realised she's doing it. Also, I'm Deaf...once upon a time, she would have shouted at anyone who mocked my deafness when I was a boy. Now she mocks me, saying "Can you hear me? Eh?! Eh?!" , etc. That cuts deep, as I know it's not my mum.

I love her to bits and I accept that one day she won't be around...but until that day comes, I will treasure the time I have with her.

Thank you for listening...well, reading this, and thank.you for allowing me to join! :)