My mum has vascular dementia....ive just found out that my estranged brother and sister have paid for a cremation for my mum without my knowledge of a

[tracy ozzy]

My mum has vascular dementia...loss of capacity and a dols in place...she lives in assited living..
Today I have found out my estranged brother and sister have arranged my mum a cremation with my knowledge or wishes...how or can I object to this...I just in the process of beginning to become mums deputyship...I am mums financial appointee with the dwp...I believe their is no power of attorney on mum....thanks a lot

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @tracy ozzy and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. This is not something I know much about but I am aware that funeral providers do allow 3rd parties to arrange and pay for funeral bonds (including cremation or burial) on behalf of others. I did arrange such a bond for my wife, in this case acting as her Attorney and paid for from her funds. I was asked for a copy of the Lasting Power of Attorney document.

I am a little unclear why you would want to object to having a plan in place, unless you feel that cremation would be against your mum's wishes.

Sorry I am not able to be more helpful but perhaps some other member may have more knowledge than me.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

Assuming that your Mum is or will be self-funding for her care, your siblings have done a wise thing by reducing her capital so that local authority funding kicks in quicker.

However, you may be questioning how they paid for the plan but that's a question that none of us can answer.

 

[SAP]

Does your mum have a will and does it state her preference of funeral?
Are you upset because they did this “behind your back” or is there something else you are worried about like how this has been funded. Could it be that your mum has given them permission to do this before she lost capacity? If they have used her funds with out being able to show they had permission or LPA then there is a issue . It might be worth you talking to the help line.

Contact us

Find out how to get in touch with Alzheimer's Society by phone, email, post or online.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[ScabbyCat]

You can check if your mum has given Power of Attorney to anyone. I did this and found out my sister has LPA for mum for finances and health and wellbeing. You contact the Office of the Public Guardian to find this out

 

[Step45]

I would like to offer my condolences, also a word of Caution as my Sister gained an LPA exclusively and has since dominated my Mother in unpleasant ways. We as family members are left almost powerless as my Sister grows more and more facetious. The whole LPA thing has ushered in a terriblly unatural bias, as if decades of Care and Love mean nothing compared to ritual and dogma of Law. My Mother has had her wishes of Therapy and Respite ignored and it would seem we are on a dangerous path of neglect with the Law almost ensuring that it happens.

 

[nitram]

You can check if your mum has given Power of Attorney to anyone. I did this and found out my sister has LPA for mum for finances and health and wellbeing. You contact the Office of the Public Guardian to find this out

To check click here