My mum from Wales šŸ“󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳ó æ

Calon Lan

Registered User
May 21, 2024
64
0
Hi everyone,

I joined the forum recently but Iā€™ve been a reader since the spring of 2020. I have been primary carer for my mum for just over four years. She has mixed Alzheimerā€™s and vascular dementia, first diagnosed in 2019. I looked after her at her own home for about three years. She now lives in a nursing home.

Iā€™ve learnt a lot by reading messages from people who have shared their knowledge and experience here. This forum has helped me through some dark times in the past few years. Iā€™ve decided to start my own thread about my mum and myself. I hope it may help me through future days. It will also give me a record of how things are changing as time passes. This first post is quite long as Iā€™d like to start with a few brief details about my mumā€™s history.

My mum was born in a coal mining town in South Wales in 1933. She grew up there and she is very proud of her Welsh heritage. At age 16 she started training to become a nurse. In her early twenties she lived at Benenden Sanatorium in Kent for a while, where she was nursing people with tuberculosis. She still remembers giving streptomycin injections. She later worked as a nurse for many years. I remember her going out to work night shifts when I was a child.

My mum married my dad in 1957. They were pen pals while she was working in Benenden and my dad was sailing around the world working on a cruise ship. I have no idea how long it took for their letters to reach each other! Sadly my dad died very suddenly in 1987 aged 56. My mum suffered with intense grief for several months. Since my dad died I have tried to support my mum whenever she needed help, especially when she had problems with her health. We have had a very close relationship for many years.

My mum is mother to five children, with me as the eldest. She is grandmother to nine and great grandmother to two.

My mum likes singing - a lot! She learnt to sing at chapel when she was growing up in Wales. She still remembers the name of the man who she says ā€œtaught her to sing properlyā€. She knows the words of lots of songs, though sometimes she now needs help with the first couple of lines. I am often surprised when she sings a song I never realised she knew. She has learnt a lot of new songs since she moved into a nursing home - something I never thought possible. She also likes watching clips from old musical films. She sings along to the songs and is in a happy place for a while.

Whenever my mum is asked what she likes doing she usually says singing, or if not that then she says ā€œhelping peopleā€. She often talks to other residents at the nursing home and asks if they are ok. I think she sometimes believes she is working at the home as a nurse. A lot of her anxiety is driven by worries about other people, both real and imagined.

Ok, time to end my first post in this thread. Iā€™m not sure how often I will write here, or even what I will write about. I am sure I will have plenty of source material!

Sending thoughts and best wishes to everyone.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
7,421
0
Salford
Well, hello and welcome from me.
My mum (American by birth) trained as a nurse in England and qualified as a midwife at Bangor hospital in Wales.
Both myself and my late wife were at some point in our careers NHS nurses, because I had to go into hospital my wife went into a nursing home and she'd make the beds for the other patients, hospital corners and everything.
It's strange how both wife and mum might not have remembered who I was sometimes but could recall all the lyrics to a song, my wife with advanced az could still play the piano better than me.
Just enjoy the good bits and keep posting. K
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
75,859
0
73
Dundee
It was lovely to read your post @Calon Lan. Itā€™s really nice to hear about you mumā€™s life.

I think having this thread is a good idea. I had a long running thread when I cared for my mum and my husband and I found the support I got there invaluable. I look forward to hearing more about your lovely mum.
 

Calon Lan

Registered User
May 21, 2024
64
0
It was lovely to read your post @Calon Lan. Itā€™s really nice to hear about you mumā€™s life.

I think having this thread is a good idea. I had a long running thread when I cared for my mum and my husband and I found the support I got there invaluable. I look forward to hearing more about your lovely mum.
Thanks Izzy. I am sure Iā€™ll be back posting on this thread soon šŸ˜Š

The support here is something very special. Iā€™m very grateful to everyone who shares their practical knowledge and their personal experience as carers.
 

Calon Lan

Registered User
May 21, 2024
64
0
Well, hello and welcome from me.
My mum (American by birth) trained as a nurse in England and qualified as a midwife at Bangor hospital in Wales.
Both myself and my late wife were at some point in our careers NHS nurses, because I had to go into hospital my wife went into a nursing home and she'd make the beds for the other patients, hospital corners and everything.
It's strange how both wife and mum might not have remembered who I was sometimes but could recall all the lyrics to a song, my wife with advanced az could still play the piano better than me.
Just enjoy the good bits and keep posting. K
Thanks @Kevinl

I remember my mum doing the hospital corners bed making when I was younger. Once a nurse always a nurse ā€¦šŸ˜Š

You are so right - enjoy the good bits. I am very fortunate that I still have good times with my mum.
 

Calon Lan

Registered User
May 21, 2024
64
0
Just one Cornettoā€¦

A long, tiring day yesterday. I took my mum for an appointment for treatment for her macular degeneration at the local hospital. Sheā€™s been having treatment for several years. We go on hospital transport and thereā€™s a lot of waiting around. Itā€™s a tough day for my mum but at the moment she can still manage an appointment if I am with her.

After her treatment we were waiting in the hospital departure lounge for transport back to my mumā€™s nursing home. Itā€™s a long wait and Iā€™m starting to run out of ideas to keep my mum distracted. The transport coordinator tells me itā€™s another 45 minutes wait! I decide itā€™s time for ice cream. I leave my mum with the coordinator and go to buy something from a hospital shop. I usually get the small tubs of ice cream, but there are none left in the freezer. I grab a couple of strawberry Cornettos and rush back to the departure lounge. I arrive and give my mum an ice cream. She beams a smile at me and starts singing with an Italian accentā€¦

Just one Cornetto
Give it to me
Delicious Ice Cream
From Italy

Other ice cream cornets are available šŸ™‚
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
7,001
0
I am so sorry that you had such a long day at the hospital, these are so hard both on the carer and the PWD.

Loved the Cornetto story - I sang the words as I was reading them. Will probably have an earworm all day.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
7,421
0
Salford
Macular degeneration...even the thought of it makes my eyes itchy, I don't have it but mum did. Is it the wet eye or dry eye type? either way not something I'd ever want to get. K
 

Toopie28

Registered User
Jun 7, 2022
345
0
Just one Cornettoā€¦

A long, tiring day yesterday. I took my mum for an appointment for treatment for her macular degeneration at the local hospital. Sheā€™s been having treatment for several years. We go on hospital transport and thereā€™s a lot of waiting around. Itā€™s a tough day for my mum but at the moment she can still manage an appointment if I am with her.

After her treatment we were waiting in the hospital departure lounge for transport back to my mumā€™s nursing home. Itā€™s a long wait and Iā€™m starting to run out of ideas to keep my mum distracted. The transport coordinator tells me itā€™s another 45 minutes wait! I decide itā€™s time for ice cream. I leave my mum with the coordinator and go to buy something from a hospital shop. I usually get the small tubs of ice cream, but there are none left in the freezer. I grab a couple of strawberry Cornettos and rush back to the departure lounge. I arrive and give my mum an ice cream. She beams a smile at me and starts singing with an Italian accentā€¦

Just one Cornetto
Give it to me
Delicious Ice Cream
From Italy

Other ice cream cornets are available šŸ™‚
OMG! Every. Single. Time I say cornetto! whop, there I go again... to meeeeeeeeee

That's so lovely that your Mum did that. That must have made your day :)
 

Calon Lan

Registered User
May 21, 2024
64
0
OMG! Every. Single. Time I say cornetto! whop, there I go again... to meeeeeeeeee

That's so lovely that your Mum did that. That must have made your day :)
Hi @Toopie28
Yes, it was a special moment. My mum had forgotten everything about the day by late afternoon back at the nursing home. She has a little notebook that I bought her in her handbag. I write notes in there and draw little pictures. Iā€™ve written a note about her singing the song along with my attempt at a drawing of a strawberry Cornetto! She will read that back and ā€œrememberā€ what happened.
 

Calon Lan

Registered User
May 21, 2024
64
0
Macular degeneration...even the thought of it makes my eyes itchy, I don't have it but mum did. Is it the wet eye or dry eye type? either way not something I'd ever want to get. K
Hi @Kevinl
Itā€™s the wet type. My mum has had treatment for quite some time. Probably close to 10 years. Iā€™m pretty sure it has helped to preserve her vision.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
7,421
0
Salford
If I ever had to choose I'd go wet eye, might seem like you cry a lot but dry eye is like someone sand papering your eyes I understand every time you blink.
Crying I can live with but sandpapering your own eyeball doesn't bear thinking about.
Still back to singing about ice creams. K
 

princess1981

New member
Jul 16, 2024
1
0
Hi all I'm new to this page and I am loving reading the story's of both families and also carers, the ups and downs, good and bad as you can take and learn so much from reading so many different story's etc. This thread paticularly made me read on as I am a night carer for individuals with dementia and it reminded me of this fabulous lady I had the pleasure to care for,for almost 7 years. She was a well presented woman well spoken and a nurse for over 40 years. I'd love hearing her storys of her nursing days and she spoke with so much pride it was beautiful. As the dementia progressed she thought she was working along side me as a nurse , would call me matron, tried helping other individuals with the care it's melted my heart. It gave her a purpose even at the depths of dementia that was taking her back to thinking she was a young nurse again