My dad has alzheimers and I still live at home with my parents, I am the youngest of 9 and seem to be the only one around to help with mum and dad, my mum is very stubborn and wont seek help for her mental health with having to deal with dad day In day out. My mum has days were she will flip out and shout at my dad for silly little mistakes he makes, I know it must be frustrating but I feel bad for my dad. I sometimes wish she was the one that was ill just so I know my dad dosent have to suffer her shouting at him. I work full time and try to help out as much but I need to have a life outside of my parents like my other siblings. I dont know what to do, I keep telling my mum that she needs to keep nagging to get help but she said she will just wait for the help, the help wont come if you dont seek it..... what do I do to get the ball running with help without feeling like I am gonna get my head bitten off by mum.
My mum can be mean.
- Thread starter Pugs89
- Start date
Welcome to DTP @Pugs89.
It must be hard for your mum looking after your dad, and a pity nobody else in your family is helping out. The thread https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/ will give you and your mum some good tips to diffuse tensions and help your dad.
The national dementia helpline is another place to ask for guidance and help and https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline will give you the phone number and operating times.
It must be hard for your mum looking after your dad, and a pity nobody else in your family is helping out. The thread https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/ will give you and your mum some good tips to diffuse tensions and help your dad.
The national dementia helpline is another place to ask for guidance and help and https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline will give you the phone number and operating times.
@Pugs89 I think you’re facing a dilemma many do. I.e. watching a horrible situation but being unable to change it
You have 3 options that I can see
You have 3 options that I can see
- Remove yourself from the situation if at all possible. This seems harsh but sometimes does mean the situation is exposed rather than propped up which brings it to a head
- Inform social services and hope (unless PWD and your mum accept help this won’t be useful)
- Call the helplines that @nae sporran has indicated and ask for their advice
