My mum’s going to the care home tomorrow!

[saskia]

I must share this....friday at mum's home, I took her out for lunch as I often do..we came back & they had the entertainers in..singing & dancing etc

Mum took one look " who the hell are these in my home..i never invited them"....!!!

It took a good hour before she would let it drop....every staff member kept apologising ( they are so good)
When they left...she walked back into the lounge " look at this mess!! " . A few expletives followed - she's an old eastender. .. it was so funny.

So in one way, I'm pleased she referred to it as "her home '..on the other, she was so angry for ages, it was quite worrying.

9 months my mum's been in herhome ..& each visit is different. I know I have to have open mind, take a deep breath when I walk in & see what awaits me.

Sas xx

 

[Kikki21]

Thank you for all the replies everyone.
Well we worked today but decided to swing by the care home today afterwards & had a short visit to my mum who was sitting contentedly eating tea with her new friend Mavis.

I will have to ask some questions tomorrow as my mum claimed she had been man handled to get into bed at some point which she was not best pleased about & she keeps saying that she is in a house ful of people who aren’t right.

And worryingly she has started to remember her old address but she hasn’t quite joined the dots together as to why she is at the home.
She is also refusing to change skirts..mmm.

Then she said that my well off cousin had visited her last week. I looked at the visitor book & it was yesterday & she keeps speaking Polish to Mavis & of course she doesn’t understand. Mavis seems very placid, not sure if she has dementia but she seems happy to keep company with my mum.

 

[smartieplum]

Thank you for all the replies everyone.
Well we worked today but decided to swing by the care home today afterwards & had a short visit to my mum who was sitting contentedly eating tea with her new friend Mavis.

I will have to ask some questions tomorrow as my mum claimed she had been man handled to get into bed at some point which she was not best pleased about & she keeps saying that she is in a house ful of people who aren’t right.

And worryingly she has started to remember her old address but she hasn’t quite joined the dots together as to why she is at the home.
She is also refusing to change skirts..mmm.

Then she said that my well off cousin had visited her last week. I looked at the visitor book & it was yesterday & she keeps speaking Polish to Mavis & of course she doesn’t understand. Mavis seems very placid, not sure if she has dementia but she seems happy to keep company with my mum.

I suppose she is in a place where everyone isn't right. Except her! Funny that she is remembering her address. I worry my mum will deteriorate quicker because of where she is. Have a good night.

 

[Kikki21]

I haven’t got a clue why she is remembering her address all of a sudden. Only the first line but then my mum doesn’t know where the care home is situated. I have told her the area where she is but I can tell that it isn’t really registering.

When we visited the other day, she said her old address but completely mixed up with the area where she used to live many, many years ago in Poland.
My OH is getting some dinner together & i’m looking forward to some TV on the sofa!

 

[YorkshireLass]

At the moment the care home visit would take us 30 mins to get there & then our visit followed by 30 mins to get back - if we move to the area then it will take us 5 minutes! That’s a big difference to us. When she was at the large hospital we visited nearly every single day - i’ve lost a lot of time & become very frazzled with all the stress.
Yeah my mum’s feet are swollen, wide fitting relatively speaking & small - she is a child’s size 12 ish! Xx

Just re-read my post and I didn't copy the website address! It's here http://www.widerfitshoes.co.uk/?gcl...dPTTfOD5YnbgAxItczVAKCLBYLkT0HH0aAkcZEALw_wcB

Hope your move happens soon xx

 

[Kikki21]

Just re-read my post and I didn't copy the website address! It's here http://www.widerfitshoes.co.uk/?gcl...dPTTfOD5YnbgAxItczVAKCLBYLkT0HH0aAkcZEALw_wcB

Hope your move happens soon xx

Thank you - I think I need to measure my mum’s feet again. The shoes she had had done are now too small for her as her feet are that swollen she cannot fasten them!

I am viewing the same property that I saw on Saturday again. I think I am going to go for it. Xx

 

[smartieplum]

Thank you - I think I need to measure my mum’s feet again. The shoes she had had done are now too small for her as her feet are that swollen she cannot fasten them!

I am viewing the same property that I saw on Saturday again. I think I am going to go for it. Xx

I visited mum today for a couple of hours and she was in good form. Her legs have become very swollen. This was never a problem before. Is it caused by less activity? I let nursing staff know.

If you are happy with the property, go for it. Sometimes we can be looking for something that doesn't exist.

 

[YorkshireLass]

Thank you - I think I need to measure my mum’s feet again. The shoes she had had done are now too small for her as her feet are that swollen she cannot fasten them!

I am viewing the same property that I saw on Saturday again. I think I am going to go for it. Xx

Go for it Kikki, one less worry. Well until you start packing anyway After my mum moved into care I sorted her house, put it on the market and shortly after we put ours up for sale too. Busy time ahead for you but a welcome distraction, a feeling you are doing something to move forward and for the future making things more manageable for you xxx

 

[smartieplum]

Go for it Kikki, one less worry. Well until you start packing anyway After my mum moved into care I sorted her house, put it on the market and shortly after we put ours up for sale too. Busy time ahead for you but a welcome distraction, a feeling you are doing something to move forward and for the future making things more manageable for you xxx

This. Definitely.

 

[Kikki21]

I visited mum today for a couple of hours and she was in good form. Her legs have become very swollen. This was never a problem before. Is it caused by less activity? I let nursing staff know.

If you are happy with the property, go for it. Sometimes we can be looking for something that doesn't exist.

The swollen legs may be down to cellulitis. My mum had started to suffer with this for months before hand at home & we had the GP out & they never associated it with that. They tried her on water tablets but they didn’t work & made her go to the toilet even more! What we didn’t know was that she was probably not going to bed & raising her legs up which has an effect on them swelling. The nurses at the assessment unit said they could always tell. It could be associated with less activity as well depending on how active or not your mum was previously.

Mind you, the same nurse told me she was going to retrain my mum’s bladder & that was a hashtag fail for her!

 

[Kikki21]

Go for it Kikki, one less worry. Well until you start packing anyway After my mum moved into care I sorted her house, put it on the market and shortly after we put ours up for sale too. Busy time ahead for you but a welcome distraction, a feeling you are doing something to move forward and for the future making things more manageable for you xxx

Indeed @YorkshireLass i have gone for it. After viewing the property again I was much happier about it all so put down the rather considerable holding deposit.
So now I face packing to go on holiday next week, after we come back I face packing to move to a new home plus starting the task of clearing my mum’s house out. I think you might say we have plenty to do but at least this has fallen into place now & is one less thing to do - welcome to my hectic world lol xxx

 

[Amy in the US]

I know a move is a lot of work, but hope perhaps you have some relief from having it settled, and will be able to enjoy your holiday without this hanging over you.

 

[YorkshireLass]

Indeed @YorkshireLass i have gone for it. After viewing the property again I was much happier about it all so put down the rather considerable holding deposit.
So now I face packing to go on holiday next week, after we come back I face packing to move to a new home plus starting the task of clearing my mum’s house out. I think you might say we have plenty to do but at least this has fallen into place now & is one less thing to do - welcome to my hectic world lol xxx

The positive outcome for me Kikki was once I had sorted and sold the houses and moved into a completely new area I left so many sad memories behind. Time to write the next chapter. Have a good holiday and refreshed and ready get on with it all when you get back xx

 

[Kikki21]

I know a move is a lot of work, but hope perhaps you have some relief from having it settled, and will be able to enjoy your holiday without this hanging over you.

I had to fill in the pages of paperwork yesterday for the rental, they near enough want to know your inside leg measurement these days!
Hopefully, we will get the go ahead before we go on holiday next week.

 

[Kikki21]

The positive outcome for me Kikki was once I had sorted and sold the houses and moved into a completely new area I left so many sad memories behind. Time to write the next chapter. Have a good holiday and refreshed and ready get on with it all when you get back xx

I have never felt happy where I am renting now to be honest so i’ll be happy to see the back of this house so a move to a bigger house will be great. The thing is both of us have a lot of stuff so a move is just horrendous!!! Xx