My mother's been diagnosed with AD


Registered User
Jan 4, 2008

A couple of weeks before Xmas my mother was diagnosed with AD - although I'd suspected for a quite a long time, confirmation came as a shock. I was told she was very ill. Almost immediately a terrific support team kicked in - she is visited daily by a team of carers and by the team with the meds. She's taking an anti-psychotic and a sedative.

She's been dilusional and paranoid for some time, and her character has changed, yet during the rational times she seemed OK ish.

The meds made a huge difference for a couple of weeks but the conflagrations (?), time slips and general confusion seem to have worsened in the past week or so. My dad died over 30 years ago, yet she's been asking me where he is ....

I live some 250 miles away and as an only child with my own young son and full tiem job, I'm feeling a mixture of guilt and self preservation. She hasn't been the easiest women in the past, and now knowing she really is ill, has made me more patient and tolerant - which I haven't always been. Yet I'm amazed at the reaction from family and friends when I tell them what it is. It seems it was perfectly acceptable to them when they thought she was just being off, or moody, yet when it's explained as a sympton of AD - they're nowhere to be seen.

My mum is refusing respite care, rejecting the meals on wheels and tells everyone she can cope ..., and says the only way she is leaving her house is toes first in a box! If it wasn't for a neighbour she would have starved by now.

Just where do I go from here?

It's my first post and I suspect one of many, apologies for the rambling nature - there's just so much I need to sort out, both practically and emotionally.



Registered User
May 12, 2007
Hi Batears,
Totally know where you are coming from. I found it really hard to accept at first when my dad was first diagnosed with AD. It is a hard illness to deal with and to communicate to people who have never had the misfortune to deal with it before. It is the unknown I suppose. You have no need to feel guilty, you can only do what you can do in the time that allows. You are very far away, with a young son and full-time job, so can be there for her on the phone, etc, and as often as you are able to visit. I dont know what advice to give you except just be there for her in whatever capacity you can (I know that she will appreciate it). A phone call is lovely and it is good that she has a neighbour looking out for her.
Best wishes and I am sure other folks on here will have some sound advice for you.
Snooky xx


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Dear batears,
Unfortunately with A.D. and any form of dementia people run away. Sometimes it is as if the person has the plague.
There are - Local Alzheimers Branch, Age Concern, Crossroads, Help the Aged, Princess Royal Trust.
There is help out there. What about the Social Worker? As you have a young chil and work it is a hard situation to be in and you should take any help that is offered.
People with come on line at a later stage as there are lots caring for a parent.
I wish you the very best. Christine


Registered User
Jan 4, 2008
Dear Snooky and Christine

thank you for your support and advice - I'm meeting with the consultant next week, when I will learn more about the support available from the mental health team.

It's going to be a steep learning curve - fortunately my Mum put an EPA in place, just need to get that sorted, and the financial stuff.

Will keep you posted.

Batears xx

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
Nr Mold
Another form of support for you is the Admiral Nurse if there are any in either your area or your Mum's, the others have given you good advice so all I will add is there are lots of us out here to listen whenever you need it.

Linda x