My husband has been assessed as needing a pacemaker. He is 88, has vascular dementia

[Spottydog]

As I read the replies, I wonder how things have panned out. I hope you are well.
My husband was fitted with a pacemaker in his early stages of vascular dementia (it was not officially diagnosed then). VD was diagnosed shortly afterwards and it's now 7 years later... The pacemaker extends life; sadly not quality of life.

Hello @Arina. My dad has mixed and vascular dementia and he got his pacemaker 7 years ago too. He had dementia then but was undiagnosed. There is about 18 months left on the battery. He got it because the doctor said he was at risk of blackouts and could hurt himself. So if it gets to the point of replacement I think we will have to have an informed conversation with the doctor. I was under the impression not replacing wouldn't mean a dignified demise but could be something horrific like a stroke. The thought of him dealing with a stroke and dementia is quite unbearable.

 

[Arina]

Hello @Arina. My dad has mixed and vascular dementia and he got his pacemaker 7 years ago too. He had dementia then but was undiagnosed. There is about 18 months left on the battery. He got it because the doctor said he was at risk of blackouts and could hurt himself. So if it gets to the point of replacement I think we will have to have an informed conversation with the doctor. I was under the impression not replacing wouldn't mean a dignified demise but could be something horrific like a stroke. The thought of him dealing with a stroke and dementia is quite unbearable.

Wow, except for the different relationship roles (your dad / my husband), our situations are similar. You've voiced a real concern because it is almost guaranteed that there will be another heart attack or stroke. I say this based on the pacemaker currently working at just over 70% (yes!) capacity. I'm dreading the day. He always said that should he be in a position where he does not function properly we "must pull the plugs" - easier said than done.

 

[Spottydog]

Wow, except for the different relationship roles (your dad / my husband), our situations are similar. You've voiced a real concern because it is almost guaranteed that there will be another heart attack or stroke. I say this based on the pacemaker currently working at just over 70% (yes!) capacity. I'm dreading the day. He always said that should he be in a position where he does not function properly we "must pull the plugs" - easier said than done.

Yes, it's a dilemma isn't it. My dad wants the plugs pulled too. If the time comes for replacement I will take the medical advice and try to involve him in the decision making as much as possible. Which will be difficult as he's totally forgotten that he has one! He's been denied cataract surgery because he can't keep still for long enough, so I don't know if that is a consideration when they talk about replacement. I do think the parent/child dementia relationship is simpler as the roles become reversed, partner/partner must be even more heartbreaking. It might be worth you chatting with an Admiral nurse... I did this recently and it was very helpful....you can book a telephone appointment online.