1. Hayley88

    Hayley88 Registered User

    Feb 15, 2016
    8
    I'm fairly new to this caring business......we've recently lost my grandad who as a typical stubborn male...his favourite words were everything's fine we don't need no help, wouldn't let any of us help.
    Having been such a sudden death...we didn't get chance to ask him many questions about how he looked and coped with gran and also because in the few hours we were there visiting we didnt realise the full extent of how bad my gran was. She's had this awful disease for 7 years.....and bless my grandad he had it tough all the more realising now as we didn't have it 24/7 he did.
    Someone stays with my gran every night and allday....we find she gets alot worse come teatime/nighttime...I've read quite abit about the sundown theory and wondered if anyone else experiences this? And how do you calm the person down? My gran gets really agitated and can sometimes be pretty nasty....not aggressive or anything...and she seems so obsessed with her dogs everything has to revolve around the dogs.
    Thankyou sorry for the long post :)
     
  2. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    I'm replying to your post to bump it up to see what help people can give with sundowning.
    A couple of tips that I have heard - one is to keep the room brightly lit in the evening to stop the shadows, some people have found this helpful - and distraction - perhaps some music that she really likes or a tv programme or dvd like sound of music or a musical that she might have liked a lot

    The other is to give a couple of paracetamol at night time - a lot of us have found that it settles people better for night - worth a try. My Ma had them every night

    She is probably fearful having lost her partner of a long time, she knows something isn't right but maybe is having difficulty understanding or expressing it

    This is a really useful leaflet Do have a look at it
    http://www.ocagingservicescollabora...te-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired.pdf

    I hope you have the higher rate attendance allowance as if you are staying with her night and day then you should be. if not get onto Age UK 0800 169 2081 and they will even help you do the forms which are quite detailed and tricky
    Council tax discount too?

    If you are all doing that much caring you might want to ask for a carers assessment to get some free sitting hours too.
    Sorry you might have done all this - not sure where you are in the process.
    keep posting, everyone here will support you xx
     
  3. betsie

    betsie Registered User

    Jun 11, 2012
    252
    My mum is exactly like this, the poor dog gets the full brunt of her twilight zone as I call it.

    Does your gran cry a lot? My mum has just been prescribed a mild anti depressant, it has only been a week but this has been her best week for 6 months. If your gran doesn't sleep well it may also be worth considering a mild sedative for night time.

    I have also just bought mum a perfect petzzz dog on Amazon ( they have them on the alzheimers website but are out of stock) it looks like a little dog and breaths. It might be that you could bet your gran to focus on that whilst she is sun downing so the real dog gets a break.

    My mums dog runs and hides under the bed at night, but that just starts the panic of looking for it as she thinks it's gone missing. Could someone else in the family have the dog for a few days ( tell her it's gone on holiday) to see what she is like without it and if she forgets about it? If this works it might be kinder and less stressful for both of them to find it a new home. We don't have this option yet as mum still walks her dog every day.
     
  4. Hayley88

    Hayley88 Registered User

    Feb 15, 2016
    8
    My grans the same she still takes her dogs for a walk everyday and she is still pretty mobile likes to do her cleaning up everyday and washing, I know it's all part of routine it's just the obsession she has with them, she didn't go out much when grandad was alive, but we are trying to get her out more even if it's just to the supermarket to help with her shopping and we take her to my aunties for dinner on a Sunday and as soon as we get there or get anywhere it's we need to go we need to get back for dogs we can't leave dogs and constantly obsessing over the dogs! On a night it takes us a good hour to two hours to get her upstairs cos she's nattering about dogs, and if you say they've been out there fine come on let's go upto bed it's like world war they are my dogs my house get out!
    I know it's gives her something to focus on and I think if we did take the dogs away brought them to one of family's home I think she would deteriorate quicker because she has nothing to focus on!
    My grandad and her had a set routine you could set your clock to them....but not she won't get out of bed til 12 and is totally not interested in anythino but the dogs.

    Thankyou for replying and advice :)
     
  5. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,125
    eastern USA
    I don't know if you'd have access to the internet for a laptop at her residence, but have you considered showing her videos of cute puppies, the ocean, towns in the UK, and live bird cams? These are currently working for my mother. I am now able to get her to sleep and sleep more peacefully by placing a 10-hour video of ocean waves near her. I dim the screen a bit and play the sound low. It gives her something to focus on. If you can't do this with a laptop, I have seen DVDs on the internet that have a continuous play setting so that you could keep in on her screen all night, if there is a telly nearby.

    I find that watching the bird cams during the day help my mother have focus. She is much farther along than your grandmother.

    Have to say I see the focus on the dogs as a good thing. My mother focused on one of our dogs, and it made her feel needed, I think.
     
  6. Hayley88

    Hayley88 Registered User

    Feb 15, 2016
    8
    Thankyou for replying :)

    Sometimes she forgets grandad isn't here anymore but that's such as we've tried to keep her routine so when she hears the door on a morning after we've taken dogs she shouts thinking it's my grandad, she does realise he's not here and every few days she breaks down into tears 62 years together its such a long time and she says shes frightened and scared cos he's not here to protect her anymore......
    Everything is in place poa and we've sorted the attendance and the council tax but I didn't realise about the carers sitting, how would I find out more about this? And do I need to get social services involved at all?

    Thankyou xx
     
  7. Hayley88

    Hayley88 Registered User

    Feb 15, 2016
    8
    That's a brilliant idea thankyou, she has a dvd player in her room I could put a dvd in there....
    I've contacted the doctors about help with sleeping but they can't give her anything due to the medication she is already on, she takes 8 tramadol a day and they don't help calm her down at all or make her rest, middle of night 2 3 4 5 in morning she's getting up coming into my room and shouting about dogs I haven't let dogs out, I reassure her we have then she'll go get in bed then I hear stair lift going and she's going downstairs to let them out, and this is every hour every night, then dogs get you up at 7 to go for there morning walk so your up and grans fast on then til 12 everyday. You should see bags under my eyes lol.

    I don't know if she did this when grandad was alive or not, or whether this has all started cos he's not here anymore xx
     
  8. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,125
    eastern USA
    Does she understand still how to read a clock? Might you get a clock with a huge face and paint on it the hour hand times when the dogs go out?

    Or perhaps keep the dogs in her room?

    I would be concerned about her falling. Might it be possible to place a gate across the stairwell so she can't get herself down stairs? Some Alzheimer's books suggest gating the doorway with a stop sign. I've never seen this in practice, but evidently it works.

    If you are up to it, you might want to try getting her up at 7 to put the dogs out and keeping her up during the day to tire her out.

    My mother is now sleeping pretty well on acetaminophen / paracetamol (Tylenol). She used to use Tylenol PM, so we only recently have begun dosing her at night. The ocean video has done the trick here.
     
  9. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    Hayley the carers assessment is done through social services, you just phone up and ask for one. They could do an assessment for gran too and see if they can provide some day care to give you a break. If you don't want them involved then that is up to you x

    I'm just wondering if you could ask for another appointment at the memory clinic to see if you can get the meds adjusted or ask for an appointment through the doctor with you Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) to help with medication.

    The other thing that might be helpful for you is to give the Admiral Nursing Service a ring and ask them for some advice re medication. Lots of people have found them really helpful, they are specialist dementia nurses Admiral Nursing Direct on 0800 888 6678 FREE or email direct@dementiauk.org
     
  10. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,077
    Yorkshire
    #10 Shedrech, Feb 16, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2016
    Hi Hayley88
    please do contact your Local Authority Adult Services and ask for an assessment of your grandmother's care needs - it sounds as though that hasn't been done before; even if it has, ask for a re-assessment due to her changed circumstances
    you may then be offered carer visits, which will take some of the strain off family members - and look into day care too, so that she is looked after during the day
    whichever family member is her main carer may also ask for a carer's assessment, and so be offered a sitting service and respite options - and claim for Carer's Allowance if under 65 and not earning more than £110 a week (I think)
    maybe talk with her GP too - to review her medication
    best wishes to you all
     
  11. Hayley88

    Hayley88 Registered User

    Feb 15, 2016
    8
    Thankyou everyone,

    She's had the carers assessment before but when grandad was here as he was her main carer, she has an appointment next week at the memory clinic it might be worth us mentioning it to them again, they did ask us if we wanted social services involved when my grandad was in hospital but because of all the upset and what was going on at the time we just sorted it between us,
    I'm definitely going to look into more help through the days, my auntie has mentioned a home but I think it's too soon and I dont think personally she's bad enough for a home, I have awful visions of nursing homes where people are just bed bound and she's so mobile I don't think she's ready for one at all yet....but maybe some help to her home maybe the next step, she doesn't take too kindly to strangers so we'd have to be 100% sure she'd even allow them in the house.

    Thankyou your really helping :)
     
  12. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    5,643
    Hampshire
    #12 CeliaW, Feb 16, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2016
    Hello Hayley.

    Obviously you will know why your Gran is on Tramadol (and I am not asking you to disclose personal information) but I wonder if its worth asking for a meds review? It isn't a drug that is well tolerated by the elderly and it could be the cause or reason for an exacerbation of her symptoms particularly in relation to anxiety.

    Larger pharmacies will often give advice if you take along a list of your Gran's medications and known ailments and could guide you as to whether it would be worthwhile asking the GP if there is a better alternative.

    Lucky Gran having such a caring granddaughter ☺
     
  13. Hayley88

    Hayley88 Registered User

    Feb 15, 2016
    8
    Awww thankyou so much :)
    I do and lucky for my gran I work in a pharmacy....so I'm quite up on her drugs, but your right with the tramadol.....she's been on them so long so she will need weening off them, it's Deffo worth me going down and mentioning more to doctors and memory clinic, I'm going to give some of the ideas above a try and see how we get on :) thankyou for all your help....this is my first post and I definitely don't think it will be my last thanks again xxx
     
  14. betsie

    betsie Registered User

    Jun 11, 2012
    252
    I would contact your local age concern to see if they have any day centres close by. They pick up and drop back home. Mum goes once a week, has lunch, does keep fit and gets her hair done. She moaned at first but likes it now.

    I recommend you start looking at local care homes now while you are not stressed and desperate for a place. This way you can have one in mind for when the time comes.
    The other thing which I am starting this week is mum is going to start going to the care home I like, twice a week in the day. I'm hoping this will help her get used to the place, other residents and staff and make a permanent placement easier.
     
  15. Hayley88

    Hayley88 Registered User

    Feb 15, 2016
    8
    To familiarise herself with the place too.....yea think we are Deffo going contact to age concern and see what's available to us, we have taken her to a coffee morning in her local church and she loved it (well bar the fretting about the dogs) but I'm sure if we break her in gentley to little changes it shouldnt be so much of a shock when the time does come.
    Thankyou xx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.