My fathers symptoms seem worse dramatically

[normapaine]

My father used to live in his own home, but kept falling and really hurting himself. With advice from his doctor we got him into a lovely assisted living place and he has been living there about 3 weeks. He has familiar things round him and because he is closer I am there a lot more frequently. I am so worried now that I have done a wrong thing in moving him as he suddenly can't work the telly, the microwave, the oven anymore. I have prompts and instructions round the apartment. I have a whiteboard which I write upon with when I will be there and appointments on. Now he is ringing me constantly asking when I will be there or how to turn on various electrical items. He was never like this a month ago. But that house would have killed him he was in hospital more times from injury from falls there and the neighbours had stopped looking in on him. Also I could only be there twice a week as I lived so far away. He was diagnosed with vascular dementia some 12 years ago and alzehimers 2 years ago. He is 92. What else can I do.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Welcome to Talking Point @normapaine . This must be worrying for you especially if you cannot visit on a more regular basis.
Have you checked your father for a UTI as these can have quite a dramatic effect on someone with dementia. If he does not have a UTI it is possible that it is taking time for him to settle into the new environment or it is possible that his dementia is getting worse. It might be time for him to either have more daily care or to move into a care home if the assisted living facility cannot provide the level of care he needs.

 

[Violet Jane]

Unfortunately, people with dementia find it hard to adapt to new environments. I doubt that prompts and white boards will help as your father has gone beyond that stage. If your father has had repeated hospital admissions and has had a lot of support in the form of reablement-type care packages and visits by you following discharge it may not have been apparent that your father was deteriorating. Repeated falls and hospital stays can advance dementia, particularly if infections and Delirium are involved. If your father doesn't currently have carers visiting at least a couple of times a day then I think that you need to put this in place as he doesn't seem to be coping. Unfortunately, he may be past the stage of a care package at home now, in which case you will need to look for a care home. Please don't reproach yourself for moving your father. He was unsafe where he was living before and you couldn't provide much support because you lived too far away. Until you try something you don't know if it will work.

 

[Duggies-girl]

@normapaine it sounds like your father is lost in his new home. unfortunately this can happen after a move. My dad was the same after a hospital stay. He was managing fine with some help from me before he was admitted. He was still doing his own housework (in a fashion) but when he came home from hospital he was unable to find his kitchen let alone make a cup of tea.

As @Violet Jane says, it may be time to bring in more help or consider a care home. It's very sad and it is nobody's fault, it's just the progression of his dementia.

I hope that you find a solution.

 

[Trainer]

You have done the very best possible thing you can do. I know it is hard but it is a loss and grief process which means it is important to let go of things you cannot control anymore and it is not your responsibility to try and do the impossible.
My dad is to this point, we got carers, I am out of the picture (was there 2 years) and this seems to be working. However, there may come a time when this no longer works. To answer your question again-good job and you have to remember you are improving his safety and quality of life.
Best to you