I regularly read this forum and have been encouraged and inspired by people's stories as well as tearful for some of the sadness that is inevitably expressed on TP.
My dad at 96 has dementia but has only recently succumbed to it making his life tricky. His short term memory is very very poor (but not non existent) and he becomes extremely muddled and confused over both mental processes (eg bank accounts) and practical things (eg doing things in the right order) But he is still absolutely in the real world regarding relationships, current affairs and so on, although often at the mercy of getting muddled or confused. So he never thinks I'm his wife and not his daughter, but he does remember things from the past, like houses he lived in when he was young, and thinks I've lived there too. So it does feel a bit as though we're in an in-between place where he can't manage his life except when he can, if you see what I mean! The decline is very slow, for which I am thankful.
The one thing which does upset me more than anything is that he's changing from being a humble, self effacing man who always put others first, into someone who is full of his own importance and a bit grandiose. For example, over the years he has written his life memoirs, including his WW2 experiences. They're not badly written and are a lovely thing to have as a family and to hand on to our children. They would also be of interest perhaps to local history groups (for his childhood account as a young boy growing up between the wars) and maybe similarly for his war memories, where he does have a tale to tell, but no more than many many others. So I've tracked down some places where we could perhaps send various accounts, some might even publish them on a website. BUT Dad wants a book published and dismisses anything less quite rudely! Of course, his writings just aren't good enough or 'different' enough as I did send them to a publisher just to say I'd done something really, and they were very sweet but said 'no thanks'.
Also he makes comments about other people's lives comparing them unfavourably to his in terms of what they've achieved, so on hearing that some WW2 Colonel had died, all Dad could say was that said Colonel had only been in 2 campaigns, whereas he had been in 3.
I don't know why it upsets me so much, but it does! I know there's no point in telling him how egotistical he sounds as it's not really dad. Just wondered if this scenario rings any bells?
I also know there may come a day when dad has no capacity to be like this because the dementia has advanced and that may be a million times worse.
My dad at 96 has dementia but has only recently succumbed to it making his life tricky. His short term memory is very very poor (but not non existent) and he becomes extremely muddled and confused over both mental processes (eg bank accounts) and practical things (eg doing things in the right order) But he is still absolutely in the real world regarding relationships, current affairs and so on, although often at the mercy of getting muddled or confused. So he never thinks I'm his wife and not his daughter, but he does remember things from the past, like houses he lived in when he was young, and thinks I've lived there too. So it does feel a bit as though we're in an in-between place where he can't manage his life except when he can, if you see what I mean! The decline is very slow, for which I am thankful.
The one thing which does upset me more than anything is that he's changing from being a humble, self effacing man who always put others first, into someone who is full of his own importance and a bit grandiose. For example, over the years he has written his life memoirs, including his WW2 experiences. They're not badly written and are a lovely thing to have as a family and to hand on to our children. They would also be of interest perhaps to local history groups (for his childhood account as a young boy growing up between the wars) and maybe similarly for his war memories, where he does have a tale to tell, but no more than many many others. So I've tracked down some places where we could perhaps send various accounts, some might even publish them on a website. BUT Dad wants a book published and dismisses anything less quite rudely! Of course, his writings just aren't good enough or 'different' enough as I did send them to a publisher just to say I'd done something really, and they were very sweet but said 'no thanks'.
Also he makes comments about other people's lives comparing them unfavourably to his in terms of what they've achieved, so on hearing that some WW2 Colonel had died, all Dad could say was that said Colonel had only been in 2 campaigns, whereas he had been in 3.
I don't know why it upsets me so much, but it does! I know there's no point in telling him how egotistical he sounds as it's not really dad. Just wondered if this scenario rings any bells?
I also know there may come a day when dad has no capacity to be like this because the dementia has advanced and that may be a million times worse.