My dad has dementia and objects to care home

[JAcky1205]

Hi, my dad has been put into a care home these last 8 months, he doesn’t want to be in there and has objected to his placement for months, he had LPA in place who put him in there (long story but it came about following a family dispute ) the LPA has since revoked And dad is now under social services. DOLs have been involved and an RPR appointed that has confirmed his objection so a best interest meeting will take place soon.
My dad has deteriorated so much since his placement he really is unhappy being away from mum (over 64 years married) we have also found that when we visit he tends to keep his eyes closed more and goes off into world of his own. He has constantly suffered from chest infections and refuses to eat most of the food they present to him.

Has anyone experienced someone successfully being allowed home following a carehome placement, when he was at home all his needs were met by community carers- nothing has changed from that perspective. Yet social services are stating that we have to pay a top up for night carers as he roles out of bed? Which is something that he didn’t do at home

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @JAcky1205

If your father has been in residential care for 8 months, I think it would be a really bad mistake to bring him home.

He may be unhappy being away from your mum after such a long marriage but your mum would really have her work cut out having him home again. She would be much better visiting him as often as possible and leave the responsibility of caring to the care home staff.

 

[canary]

A lot can change in demantialand in 8 months and infections can really progress dementia, so I am not surprised that you have seen a lot of deterioration in that time. There will have been a lot of new behaviour developing as the dementia has progressed, so I could quite believe that he would need a night carer at home now.

If your mum wasnt really coping with him being at home before, even with carers coming in, then she certainly wont now after all this time. She may wish it were otherwise, but it really wouldnt be fair on her. And it wouldnt be fair on your dad either, because I strongly suspect that the life he wants is to be at home with his wife as they were before dementia with him being able to do all the things that he used to (and perhaps still thinks that he can) - and thats never going to happen.

 

[SAP]

I may has miss understood but from what you are saying social services are starting that if your dad moved home he would need over night care? If this is the case then yes he will have to pay as most LAs don’t provide this level of care in the home. It would also suggest that in the last 8 months, your dads needs are much higher than they were which is completely normal with dementia. As others have stated, bringing him home now would put a huge burden on your mu and may not make him any happier but more confused and more in need of support.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @JAcky1205 and welcome. I am sorry to hear about your dad. In response to your question as to whether anyone has had success bringing a person home from a care home, I would say that this is not impossible but very rare. Once a person needs a certain level of care and 24 hour supervision, the challenge of providing these in a domestic environment is huge. When a person has been in a care home for as long as 8 months it is likely that their needs will have grown to the extent that a team of people are required to care for them and keep them safe. Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards are not applied for unless necessary and usually mean that the person has lost the ability to process information and make rational decisions. Before returning the person home, social services would need to be assured that their needs could be fully met.

I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear but the reality is that this would be a backward step in providing proper care for your dad. My view is that it will be in his best interests to remain in the care home.

 

[Rosettastone57]

Honestly it would be a backwards step for him to be at home. A person with dementia saying they want to go home is normal. I agree with other posters, in my opinion his best interests lie in full time care. Also the cost of providing night carers is phenomenal. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear

 

[JAcky1205]

Thank you both for your responses. It is a difficult decision, one that the social worker is doing a lot of research on, under the circumstances of him being placed in a care home. Dad had all his care needs met at home, his care is not any different in the care home - yes he has deteriorated since being in care and you could argue that is the dementia but I also think it’s the fact that he isn’t happy in there and is depressed as he is missing his wife(mum) I have seem both ends of the spectrum from a care perspective and he had much better care at home than he does in care home, his diet was better and so too was his personal care. I guess we will have to see how the BID meeting goes and also if his RPR decides to take it to the court of protection if it doesn’t go according to plan. Night carers/24 hour carers is expensive but we have plans/options to consider for that if the social worker seems it necessary as he wasn’t in any danger at home prior to his placement, he was put in for all the wrong reasons unfortunately