Hi sorry to take so long to reply buy I've just reread your response and thank you. I do hope you have found some relief and your mum is well?Hi Tony,
I was caring my mum who had Alzheimer’s, I have an older brother, who lives 10mins walk from us, all he said was that I had a lot of caring to do, I haven’t had any contact from him for the last 10 months.
With my mum, I thought I would able to cope with caring for my mother but with her Alzheimers it kept getting worse, she kept peeing herself, and refused to use the toilet.
I had 1 career coming in every Morning to wash and clean her. A few months ago she started to strip herself naked, and sometimes go to a window (naked) a wave to people, this was usually when I was somewhere else in the house (like when I was having a wash and shave).
I use to ask her what she wanted for her meals, and when I had them ready she would refuse to eat them. Also she infrequently slept, so I didn’t sleep a lot (about 3-4 hours a day), it caused me to have epileptic seizures. Also taking care of my mother had stopped me from going out, and also I have lost most of my friends (so were they really friends), so I had a social worker to give her an assessment, a few days after the assessment the social worker said about a care home on respite (4 weeks), at the moment she is still at the care home, but she has got use to the care home, she doesn’t strip herself, she sleeps better, the only thing is that she still doesn’t eat much. My mother is also interacting with the other patients and careers/nurses. I do miss my mother (as the care home, not excepting visitors, due to the Covid-19), but I am thinking about would it be worth it to have her back home, or leave her at the care home, as I’m not a professional career, and I’d be here alone looking after my mum, and there is about 10-15 careers there all the time. Another thing is if I decide to have her back home, am I just thinking about myself, and she might go back to how she was, if I decide for her to stay in the care home, i would know that she was properly taken care of, and safe, but some of the rest of the family (some of my nephews) doesn’t like the sound of their Nan being left in a care home.
So my big decision is what is best -
A) my mums health and safety
B) myself, and looking after my mum back home
C) family, (but my nephews live 40 miles away, and have jobs and their own families)
This might be about my mother, and nothing to do about you, your brother and your mum, but I just thought that if you hear about someone’s else experience, and decisions might help.
Good luck
Paul
Hi sorry to take so long to reply buy I've just reread your response and thank you. I do hope you have found some relief and your mum is well?Hi Tony,
I was caring my mum who had Alzheimer’s, I have an older brother, who lives 10mins walk from us, all he said was that I had a lot of caring to do, I haven’t had any contact from him for the last 10 months.
With my mum, I thought I would able to cope with caring for my mother but with her Alzheimers it kept getting worse, she kept peeing herself, and refused to use the toilet.
I had 1 career coming in every Morning to wash and clean her. A few months ago she started to strip herself naked, and sometimes go to a window (naked) a wave to people, this was usually when I was somewhere else in the house (like when I was having a wash and shave).
I use to ask her what she wanted for her meals, and when I had them ready she would refuse to eat them. Also she infrequently slept, so I didn’t sleep a lot (about 3-4 hours a day), it caused me to have epileptic seizures. Also taking care of my mother had stopped me from going out, and also I have lost most of my friends (so were they really friends), so I had a social worker to give her an assessment, a few days after the assessment the social worker said about a care home on respite (4 weeks), at the moment she is still at the care home, but she has got use to the care home, she doesn’t strip herself, she sleeps better, the only thing is that she still doesn’t eat much. My mother is also interacting with the other patients and careers/nurses. I do miss my mother (as the care home, not excepting visitors, due to the Covid-19), but I am thinking about would it be worth it to have her back home, or leave her at the care home, as I’m not a professional career, and I’d be here alone looking after my mum, and there is about 10-15 careers there all the time. Another thing is if I decide to have her back home, am I just thinking about myself, and she might go back to how she was, if I decide for her to stay in the care home, i would know that she was properly taken care of, and safe, but some of the rest of the family (some of my nephews) doesn’t like the sound of their Nan being left in a care home.
So my big decision is what is best -
A) my mums health and safety
B) myself, and looking after my mum back home
C) family, (but my nephews live 40 miles away, and have jobs and their own families)
This might be about my mother, and nothing to do about you, your brother and your mum, but I just thought that if you hear about someone’s else experience, and decisions might help.
Good luck
Paul
Good morning with all thats been going on in the world its seems like yesterday I posted on here and I'm not sure what I can do to help my brother? He is now struggling in the evenings with our mum and without any of us being able to visit it makes it so much harder for him. We all feel pretty useless and I was hoping for some ideas to help mores for the evenings where mum is struggling being difficult.Welcome from me too @Tonys68
It seems that your brother might have quite a lot to cope with - does he have help from carers or is he managing on his own? As already mentioned, if you can provide us with a bit more background about your mum and your brother it will help us to help you. Keep posting as there is a wealth of knowledge and support here.