1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear All,

    On 23 December I had a call from my cousin to say that my wonderful Uncle had died after a short 2 year battle with AD. His funeral service is to be held at 3pm today - approx midnight in Australia, I think. He was my father's older brother. My parents have been fighting AD for the past 6 years and pretty well winning out so far.

    It was a pretty sad Xmas for our family. I made a very hard decision not to tell my parents of Rob's death. I think and hope that I made the right choice.

    My Uncle Rob - and to give him his full title of Group Captain Robert Frogley, RAF - was an incredible person - loved and respected by all his friends and colleagues. I feel honored to have known him and will miss him very, very much.

    Jude
     
  2. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    You made the right choice ...

    A dear friend of mine died earlier this month (cancer, not AD) but I didn't find out until after the funeral had taken place. Whilst I am deeply sorry that she has gone, I have visited her husband Doug at home, & she hasn't "gone" from there.
    The house is still filled with her presence, her gentleness, her love of everyone who knew her. Not just photographs of her, but quirky little keep-sakes brought home from holidays, things she had made (a talented knitter); I would much rather remember her in her home, as I last saw her, than her funeral service.

    OK, that's a selfish point of view I know, but I hope your parents will retain their happy memories of him, untainted by the sad trappings tradition puts at the end of our lives.
    Regards
     
  3. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Lynne,

    I've decided to have a small 'service' here tonight on behalf of my parents and myself around midnight, which should coincide with Rob's funeral in England at 3pm.

    Since we can't be at the funeral to say a formal goodbye, I am doing this on behalf of my parents and myself - to say adieu to a wonderful and inspirational man, who just happened to be part of our family and of whom we loved so much.

    My parents will always remember Rob as he was, because their memories are stuck at some point in the past. I saw him last year and Rob was still able to remember me, which was pretty incredible. I will always treasure our last meeting together. It was brilliant.

    So tonight, I will give him a joyful farewell.

    Jude
     
  4. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    Dear Jude

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope your farewell brings you comfort and a sense of peace. It's a lovely idea.

    Thinking of you.
     
  5. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Hi Magic,

    Thanks for your post. It's a wonderfully clear night here and there are a million stars - one of which will be for Rob, I'm sure. I shall be looking for a falling star to wish him on his way.

    Jude xxx
     
  6. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dear Jude, what a lovely idea. I think you also made the right decision not to tell your parents.
    Sad for you at your loss, look after yourself, love Connie
     
  7. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Sad to hear your news but think you are handling it very well indeed. I also look at the stars regularly and just wonder! - when I do it is a very peaceful few minutes late at night - from now on I will think of you all our there going through so many different feelings and thoughts. All the very best to you all for the New Year! (cannot bring myself to say Happy New Year!!) :confused:
     
  8. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Jude
    sorry to hear your sad news.
    Life is strange.
    My friends widow telephoned me on the day that he died ( last Tuesday) and asked me to telephone certain people ,and organisations that we had both been members of. and inform them of his death.
    I did and following that there has been a spin off of people telephoning me ,that I have not seen or spoken to for ages.
    Isn't it sad that it often takes a tragedy to bring people together?
    Norman
     
  9. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Norm,

    It seems that your friend and my uncle died on the same day. I'd like to think that they would meet up.

    It's sad that friends only come together at births, marriages and funerals isn't it?

    I do hope you are enjoyed your renewed contacts despite the sad occasion which has caused this.

    I had a lovely night - stars, flowers and candles. Lots of wonderful memories. I'm sad, but not greiving because he was such a delight and will always continue to be in my mind.

    Thanks so much to everyone for your kind wishes.

    Jude
     
  10. oonaghw

    oonaghw Registered User

    Dec 4, 2005
    18
    isle of man
    Jude, Lynne and Norm - My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Oonagh
     

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