My beautiful Mother died

sarafina

Registered User
Sep 28, 2009
13
My beautiful Mother died aged 92, nursed here at home by myself over the years, on the. 22nd of December, her brain ravaged by dementia.
I miss her so much, there's always been a co dependancy between us both and I don't know how I will cope, as presently I'm in bed all day and all night, inconsolable.
My sister and her children and Gran children are pillars of strength, but I'm unable to tolerate their presence. I want to just think about Mum and look at videos and pictures of he un disturbed.I can't stop crying, I'm dreaming she's alive and dies, when I wake it's not a dream, she's dead.
I don't know how I'm going to get through this, I really don't, my heart is breaking, really breaking, there's no purpose at all to my life .
 

Sue J

Registered User
Dec 9, 2009
8,035
Sarafina, I am sorry for the loss of your Mother. Your grief is raw, one day at a time. xx
 

angecmc

Registered User
Dec 25, 2012
2,108
hertfordshire
I am so sorry for your loss, I feel you may need some help with your grief, would you consider talking to your GP? Take care xx

Ange
 

chris53

Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
2,929
London
Sarafina, no words of comfort I can give will take away the pain you are feeling at the moment, you have happy memories of your beloved mother so if you can, hang on to those, remember the smiles you had and how she brought you up to be a kind and caring daughter, she is now free of dementia and all it can sometimes bring with it, take the strength offered from your family as it must be such a great loss to them as well.
Take care
Chris x
 

barny

Registered User
Jan 20, 2006
199
Herts
So sorry to her your news. I lost my lovely mum in August after looking after her for many years. The loss was so overwhelming and I still have difficult days. But it is very early days for you and your grief is raw. You Did your best and did so well to look after her at home. Look after yourself. Hugs from one bereft daughter to another.
 

memaggie2

Registered User
Nov 9, 2014
60
scotland
Its so sad and everyone deals with bereavement in their own way , its not long since your Mum passed away and it will take time to come to terms with your loss . Are you eating and drinking adequately ? please see your GP if you continue to feel this bad though, he will be able to arrange bereavement counselling and maybe antidepressants for a short while ...refuse nothing you need help tp get though this. You have done so much for your mum , do your best to look after you now
Maggie
 

Benrese

Registered User
Apr 12, 2014
185
Lancashire
Hi Sarafina,

What a pretty name. I am so sorry to hear about your dear Mum passing. You know, grieving has many different faces and ways. This is how you are grieving, and that has to be OK.

In some countries and cultures, people fall to the ground and weep inconsolably for their beloveds. I suppose over time we have been told to keep a stiff upper lip and all that. But it really is natural to pine and to hurt. This is your expression, and you should allow yourself the time and space to have that.

If you find as time goes by that you cannot begin to see the light and balance coming back into view, then yes, there is always help and support.

But for today, you are doing just fine.

Bless and one moment at a time...
 

Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
British Isles
So sorry for the loss of your dear Mum. You must be a very strong person to have nursed her at home - you will be exhausted after helping her for so long so of course the terrible grief has hit you hard. I do hope that with the help of your family you start to feel a little stronger again soon and gradually learn to cope with the loss. You did so much for your Mum, but you really must look after yourself as she would want you to.
 

bluejag69

Registered User
Oct 3, 2014
67
I'm so sorry to read your sad news. Give yourself time , take 1 day at a time. But if you need help make sure you ask for it, dont make youself I'll, your mum wouldnt of wanted that.
Take care, big hugs xxx
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,962
Brixham Devon
I'm so sorry to read of your Mum's passing. It's so hard to take in-the finality is so brutal.

You did so well to look after her for so long.

My you find peace and comfort through your family

Love

Lyn T XX
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
North East England
I'm so very sorry to hear of the death of your beloved mother. It's still very early days and given that you looked after her yourself for years it's no wonder you are grieving so deeply. Give yourself time and permission to do it your way. xx
 

halojones

Registered User
May 7, 2014
438
Hello sarafina, I am sorry that you have lost your mum, it is such huge loss, no wonder you are feeling so lost and bereft...I can only offer my sympathy...xxx
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,707
North West
I just wanted to join those who are sending their condolences on the sad death of your mum sarafina. Many on TP know how difficult it is to bear such a loss and will have you in their thoughts.