Hi all, I lost mum a year ago & only now feel strong enough to write about our last few weeks together.
Mum's death was very peaceful, her nursing home were amazing with us. They put big comfy chairs in for us, turned mum's bed around so we could sit close to her. They even insisted on us eating, bringing freshly cooked food & lots of tea & company if we needed it. Ten months prior to mums passing, we were told be the hospital that mum had suffered 4 heart attacks in one day & only had hours to live. Mum had a DNR in place, so no intervention was carried out. Mum survived for 5 weeks & was kept in hospital against our wishes. They finally agreed to release mum. We found a wonderful nursing home and planned her palative care. Due to their amazing care mum ended up out of bed, sitting with other residents, even making an attempt to feed herself. She was on liquidised food, as she aspirated her food. She was even up to going out Xmas week for a couple of hrs shopping in her favourite store. On February 27 2016 ( my birthday) I got a call to say mum had deteriorated and could I come in. This was such a shock as the week before we were singing together and she actually remembered who I was!!! She called me by my name and told me she loved me. Gosh, it's breaking my heart thinking about it. I feel if my heart has been ripped out.
I had been with mum constantly, on 4th March 2016 we were told mum was in her final stage, but obviously they couldn't say how long. I had been there all day, when my sister arrived and insisted I go home for a couple of hours, she would call me. I only lived 10 mins away. Instead of resting, I went to my GD Mothers Day service & I don't know why, but at 14.20 I txt my sis to see if everything was ok. I knew in my heart that mum had passed, but Sis said everything was ok. I got back to mum & was greeted by the staff. I still feel so guilty for leaving & not being with her at the end. The staff & my Sis said mum passed them to save me from seeing her pass. I had done all of mums care for 10 years, 8 of those years on my own.
Looking back I feel so privileged to have had that time with mum, especially the amazing way she knew me & told me she loved me.
For anyone in a similar position, please keep talking, keep telling your loved one you love them. I am living proof that the person you know IS still in their. So sorry this is so long. They say time is a healer. Although I miss mum dreadfully, I couldn't see her back in that pain again. I know she is happy and at peace, reunited with dad again.
Mum's death was very peaceful, her nursing home were amazing with us. They put big comfy chairs in for us, turned mum's bed around so we could sit close to her. They even insisted on us eating, bringing freshly cooked food & lots of tea & company if we needed it. Ten months prior to mums passing, we were told be the hospital that mum had suffered 4 heart attacks in one day & only had hours to live. Mum had a DNR in place, so no intervention was carried out. Mum survived for 5 weeks & was kept in hospital against our wishes. They finally agreed to release mum. We found a wonderful nursing home and planned her palative care. Due to their amazing care mum ended up out of bed, sitting with other residents, even making an attempt to feed herself. She was on liquidised food, as she aspirated her food. She was even up to going out Xmas week for a couple of hrs shopping in her favourite store. On February 27 2016 ( my birthday) I got a call to say mum had deteriorated and could I come in. This was such a shock as the week before we were singing together and she actually remembered who I was!!! She called me by my name and told me she loved me. Gosh, it's breaking my heart thinking about it. I feel if my heart has been ripped out.
I had been with mum constantly, on 4th March 2016 we were told mum was in her final stage, but obviously they couldn't say how long. I had been there all day, when my sister arrived and insisted I go home for a couple of hours, she would call me. I only lived 10 mins away. Instead of resting, I went to my GD Mothers Day service & I don't know why, but at 14.20 I txt my sis to see if everything was ok. I knew in my heart that mum had passed, but Sis said everything was ok. I got back to mum & was greeted by the staff. I still feel so guilty for leaving & not being with her at the end. The staff & my Sis said mum passed them to save me from seeing her pass. I had done all of mums care for 10 years, 8 of those years on my own.
Looking back I feel so privileged to have had that time with mum, especially the amazing way she knew me & told me she loved me.
For anyone in a similar position, please keep talking, keep telling your loved one you love them. I am living proof that the person you know IS still in their. So sorry this is so long. They say time is a healer. Although I miss mum dreadfully, I couldn't see her back in that pain again. I know she is happy and at peace, reunited with dad again.
