1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. panda

    panda Registered User

    Apr 16, 2006
    88
    Surrey
    Some time ago a lovely person on this site gave me a web site address where I could download the forms to do Mums EPA ourselves. It was very helpfull but I took the cowards way out, I could not bring myself to do it. Stupidly I lost the address and have now realised I have to do it. Over the last two weeks Mum has gone downhill and is doing all kinds of wierd things. Has any one got this address and doe's anyone know what to do when we have filled it in. I think I read once that we have to take it to the bank for them to stamp it and give us copy's. Sorry to be a nusance, I know I should of sorted it out but it seemed easier to ignore the reality
     
  2. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    I would strongly suggest you do NOT take it to the bank, not unless you have sussed out how they will respond. Some banks are better than others, but sometimes the response will be to freeze the account until the EPA is registered. I know many people do use the unregistered EPA without apparent problems, but the only safe way is to register it (details on the link given above). In a way, a straight forward power of attorney is more appropriate if you simply need to access the accounts. You need an EPA for the future, but a power of atttorney doesn't raise the spector of financial incompetance in the banks mind.

    Jennifer
     
  4. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Dear Panda, you are not a nuisance... in fact I am the one causing an absolute nuisance here regarding EPAs..... already posted on one thread..... and didn't know whether to start another .... so here I am hijacking yours..... but I hope sharing my whole debacle here might help others.....

    Truth, the registering (or me telling the bank I planned to apply to register the EPA) is causing an absolute nightmare ... I feel I'm guilty before proven innocent ....

    Now, there's the paradox .... I'm protecting mum by applying to the Court of Protection - I BELIEVED at the same time I'm in a sense protecting myself - by applying to register I feel I am declaring that I am happy to produce accounts/justify decisions etc etc on my mum's behalf...... but in doing so feel like I have to declare every time I buy her a loaf of bread....

    (I took on board advice re EPA some months ago, organised it - used a solicitor -but confess didn't really get any grips with what it really meant until mum suddenly had a 'dramatic slide' a few weeks ago ..... and went from 'letting it collect dust in said solicitor's cupboard' to - 'Yikes - better register NOW'......)

    Now, I don't begrudge my mum a loaf of bread (that's an analogy) - in fact as I guess so many here - mum's 'expenses' would be astronomically higher did I not provide - at MY expense and wouldn't dream of trying to 'claim it back' - most of her food, transport, 'incidentals' etc etc ... this is my MUM. It's what I do ... what she did for me when I was reliant on her.....

    I HATE the idea of providing receipts ... keeping accounts.... but I'm neither in a position to completely 'finance' her.... this is just horrid.....

    The bank's assumption was that mum was in a nursing home and that I could have an 'Allowance' to pay to her and they would meet invoices.....??? My anger remains that they (the bank) feel they can make a global defintion about 'mental incapacity'.

    Truth, I don't think the banks have 'wised up' between a POA and an EPA ... ( as some of us here have been forced to) .... not much help for many of us here just now ... but I'll share here what I can of my mistakes if it saves someone else from the angst .....

    Karen
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Karen,
    Just get over it Karen. (Sorry, that was said was true sympathy and understanding, but you know me!) We left it too late, and didn't get an EPA so mum is fully under Court of Protection - so annual returns, applications have to be made for certain expenditure; all accounts had to be moved. Karen, it is right for you to keep the receipts and make the claims - not disloyal to mum in any way, not appearing like a 'money grabbing daughter' (which I suspect is how it makes you feel). The system has been set up to protect people like our mums, and given us a means of having safe access to their finances. Just use the system.
    Once you have got it all sorted, it will become easier.
    Love Helen
     
  6. panda

    panda Registered User

    Apr 16, 2006
    88
    Surrey
    Thanks

    Thank's Amy that is great
    Tender face I can relate to what you say, I too have become financialy worse off since Mum got ill. All of those little bits we pay for add up, again I do not begrudge this, but I am also trying to bring a family on my own. Mum's bank account is a lot healhier since I took over organising things for her, but now she is doing daft things with credit cards and I thought by getting EPA I could put a stop to that to keep her accounts stable. I am not going to worry about what other people think because I know I am doing the best I can for her. The same as you are for your mum. Good luck with your's I will let you know how I get on.
     
  7. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Panda/Amy thank you!!!!

    You've put into words what I couldn't .... and completely understood where I'm at with all this ..... and THAT has made a difference already. Many, many thanks.

    Right, disappearing for a while to submerse myself in paperwork...... :rolleyes:

    Much love, Karen, x
     
  8. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #8 Margarita, Nov 17, 2006
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2006
    Just seen this thread


    I set up an EPOA for my mother 4 years ago, now I am thinking after panda said


    and I thought by getting EPA I could put a stop to that to keep her accounts stable

    The only way I found out to day in how to do that is applying to the Court of Protection , why to proect yourself and you have full control over your mother account legally and they take your mother cards away from her .

    because if anything happen as in Credit Card Fraud money is taken out that you know that you or your mother has not taken out , You with the EPOA are the
    First one they think is doing the fraud . so now I have to prove that I am Innocent


    Tender Face your doing the right thing


    PS
    What I would do different now

    Is still get the EPOA tell the pension people send them the EPOA , then someone come around to your house or mother or father to check every think is legal , then all there pension are pay to you in reference to your mother .

    You have to have easy assessed to the money, so you can have it pay all in to your account.

    I was offered that, but oh no felt guilty so had it played in to my mother account , that I have to go in to the bank to get money or do chq , yeah you tell me what shop take a chg with out a chg guarantee card .
     

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