Morning Jane898
You last wrote
I will go to the doctors tomorrow because someone has to listen to me and understand how serious this is.
So I hope the GP is helpful, today. Do come back and let us know!
And please believe that all on TP, especially those who have replied to this thread, are listening to you
All too sadly we do recognise your situation and appreciate how serious it is
The replies we all write are with the best of intentions to support you and offer information and, yes, our opinions - we're amateurs (as in not health professionals - the vast majority of us) but have a wealth and breadth of experience to share
maybe we've not quite grasped what your 'question' is?
I have looked back at your posts and do notice that your first, in march, was because your mother was getting lost and you said your father was 'fit as a fiddle'. Later he couldn't walk well and now he is on the brink of a heart attack and you fear for your mother's safety. So the last few month's have had quite an effect on him.
I'm not sure what care you have in place, some I guess as you blame the care team - for not being able to take your mother out when she needs to wander or not taking her out shopping? The Admiral Nurse will have focussed on the immediate concern, a UTI may be influencing your mother's behaviour and dealing with that may then mean that the wandering diminishes. Then the issue of care visits to go out with her can be addressed. Though, these should be paid for from your mother's finances. Are there there other care visits in place - to help in the home, with personal care?
From your posts the wandering has been happening for some time and is increasing. And your concern seems to be that your father, at his age, cannot keep frantically going out after your mother. And the wandering will not be stopped by any tracking system, just monitored. Your mother can get out of the house so locks on gates etc aren't preventing her leaving.
You have considered a care home placement for your mother so you appreciate that the situation indicates that there is a need for this. You feel that this would break your father's heart. Has he, himself, said anything? It may be that he will, understandably, feel heartbroken but also somewhat relieved, understanding that he can visit her and she will be safe. Maybe even find a home where he can be with her? If care will be self-financed then your parents can pretty much go ahead at any time and put in place whatever care they need.
I'm not offering solutions, just attempting to lay out your concerns as I read them from your posts.
This is a horrible situation for all of your family, we understand that.
And we're here to support you.