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Mum's Birthday Tommorow and Just Wondering....

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by worriedson1, Mar 23, 2015.

  1. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    #1 worriedson1, Mar 23, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2015
    Am i Justified in being miffed IF....IF no other Family members dont go and see my mum tommorow esp in the context this is her first birthday in the home and that of course she sadly has dementia(A Couple of Family members are out of town and left a pressie for mum in the office at the home that ive been asked to give her from them and that's totally understandable and if they were in town i know they would be there tommorow and they visit mum once a week) ??.
     
  2. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,852
    England
    #2 Katrine, Mar 23, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2015
    It depends whether she will notice TBH. I do understand that you feel they should make the effort. Are they ignoring her birthday or just postponing their visit/s?

    My MIL no longer has any awareness of special occasions - Christmas, Easter, birthday, Mother's Day etc. For that reason we actually don't plan to go in to her CH to do a 'family event'. More than 2 people and she can't follow conversations or work out who is who. We find it better to spread out the special occasion visits. That way each present or card is a lovely surprise that she can enjoy for a day or so before the next one comes.
     
  3. fredsnail

    fredsnail Registered User

    Dec 21, 2008
    649
    Try not to be miffed - it will spoil your day with Mum - the home will likely make a fuss and cake and try to enjoy the day - if they don't visit the other family will miss out of hopefully what will be a nice day of memories.
     
  4. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    "if they don't visit the other family will miss out of hopefully what will be a nice day of memories. "

    That's how i Reaaallllyyyyy am TRYING to look at it and you are right.

    Aye the home do bake a cake for every residents birthday.
     
  5. daisydi

    daisydi Registered User

    Feb 25, 2015
    257
    Norfolk
    I have learnt that people, even brothers and sisters are all different and have different ways of dealing with things. My conclusion is that you do things because you want to and if other people don't feel the same then that's life. I have been battling for ages with the fact that my sister doesn't seem to worry about my mum who has now been in a care home for a couple of months but you cant change the way you are. Just enjoy the day with your mum as I will no doubt be doing in a couple of months.
     
  6. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    It's just very sad that's all.
     
  7. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    I would love nothing more than to be proven wrong tommorrow but i dont think i will be.

    I will be going down about 1.30pm tommorow with a couple of friends for a couple of hours.
     
  8. daisydi

    daisydi Registered User

    Feb 25, 2015
    257
    Norfolk
    I know and I totally agree with you that its wrong but who knows why ...
     
  9. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    IF no other family members go tommorow I wont even bother asking why as if i do i'd prolly get told a mixture of -

    A. Busy Working.

    B.Dont want to see your mum in a home/like that.

    C.Forgot/Doing something Else.

    D. Something Else that is not mentioned above..
     
  10. Tears Falling

    Tears Falling Registered User

    Jul 8, 2013
    637
    Take your mum her gifts, tell her you love her, enjoy some cake together and make a fuss. Worry about you and her and waste no more of your precious time on those who may or may not turn up.

    Yummmm cake
     
  11. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    VERY VERY True.
     
  12. Tears Falling

    Tears Falling Registered User

    Jul 8, 2013
    637
    Did you get a gift for her?
     
  13. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    And the Latest you can visit at my mum's home is about 8.30pm/9pm or round about that so the "Busy Working" Excuse unless everyone(I know one family member who does not finish work till about 8pm so i can totally understand that family member not being there) seems to miraculously do a back/night shift, is out the question.
     
  14. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    Of Course!!! And a Card.
     
  15. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    :(
     
  16. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    WS, your Mum will be perfectly content with her favourite person by her side. She probably doesn't need anyone else but you there. Good to see you on TP again.

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  17. fredsnail

    fredsnail Registered User

    Dec 21, 2008
    649
    I hope that Mum and you had a fantastic day :)
     

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