1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. perfectpatience

    perfectpatience Registered User

    Oct 3, 2006
    Hi. Just would like to let you know my mum is alot better after her ordeal last week. I wrote into t/p as I thought we were going to lose her after she 'asperated' in the care home and was rushed to hospital. Since Sunday she was taken off the drip...and seems to be alot better. Doctor informed me yesterday she had a chest infection set in...but it is under control...and they cant see why she wont be able to be 'discharged' in the next week or so...providing she carries on improving. She is still frail...and I doubt if she will stand or walk again...but it seems she is holding on for 'dear life' and not ready to leave this world just yet. All this leaves me to do now is look for a nursing home for her. (she is in residential at the moment) which Iam doing. As my mum is being funded from another borough....but is in hospital in Essex....I have been told by the social worker (in London) who is dealing with the 'funding' side of things that it is all going to take time...and reports have to be done etc etc. As I dont wish to beat around the bush....the bottom line is....I think Iam going to have problems with this social worker (Ive had to deal with her once before) and it was a nightmare. Would anyone else have ever had a similiar problem with a 'difficult' social worker I wonder? Would I be allowed to ask for her to be 'changed' for a different one? I would be grateful for any advice. Kind regards. PP x x
  2. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    Social Workers

    Hi, my social worker and I started off very badly indeed. I felt that she was cold hearted and impersonal, and also very off hand at a time when I was in dire straights having just come out of hospital with a broken wrist, and husband Ken rushed into a respite home.

    The respite home refused to have husband a day longer as he was under 65 and they were only officially licenced to take over 65 age group. She phoned to say an agency would come in and they never materialised. I was in a terrible mess trying to see to all Ken's personal bodily needs. Out of the blue,a Local Council care team arrived and again although officially were only supposed to work with over 65 age group, did come morning/evening to wash, dress him for me for two weeks.

    I phoned my first care assessment officer who had arranged for me to have a social worker and explained that I didn't think I could work with this social worker as she had proved to be unhelpful and I felt unable to talk to her. He said it was my right to ask for another person to take her place. This information may be helpful to you. He said to phone and ask for the supervisor and explain the situation.

    To cut a long story short I decided to try to resolve the situation directly with the social worker and arranged for her to visit me. She came, we had a cup of tea, aired our grievances towards each other and thank goodness parted good friends with mutual respect. I had no idea how much work she was putting in to get this team for me and she had no idea that I needed her to phone me and let me know what was happening. She has been so good to me since then and has arranged a lot of help which has made my life much better.

    So yes - you are allowed to ask for a change of social worker. Good luck my love. You are in a stressful situation as it is without someone official creating more stress!
  3. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    I started off really badly with dad's social worker. For a start she was over 3 hours late for our first meeting (which I'd cancelled my long weekend away for). Then she didn't take her coat off ........ wrote down my first comment about dad on her note pad in inverted commas (something banal like "a bit up and down really") .... didn't listen to the other things I was saying. Heard couple of sentences from respite worker and started telling me what I had to do with dad. We'd got off on a bad footing because when she called me to arrange the meeting she said something like "I'm wondering what you want us to do with 'im for you"

    I managed a controlled explosion at her in the meeting. After that we had a rather frosty though pretty productive relationship. I got what dad needed from her at least.

    I think you're well within your rights to ask for a different SW, though if it's a specialist area team she might be the only option. Like Tina says though, it would be good to see if you can resolve stuff between the two of you first.

    Just another thought ........ which may or may not be relevant to you. When I was in a bit of a state over the social worker and dad and the whole muddle, Alz Soc suggested I chose the professional who I got on best with and tried to do all my dealings through her (this is one of the most useful bits of advice I've ever been given) . Because the SW was part of a multi-disciplinary team and CPN and psychiatrist were also involved, it was fairly easy to ring/email the CPN and get her to deal with the social worker over some things.

    Good luck. It's good to know that mum is doing so much better after the scare last week. Long may it continue.

  4. perfectpatience

    perfectpatience Registered User

    Oct 3, 2006
    Thanks Anne and Tina. I have spoken to the social workers team leader today. I chose my words carefully....and she was very understanding. I have taken on board both of your comments.....it really does help to speak to others....thanks for that. Iam so glad Ive found t/p....its really helped me...especially last week with my mum. My life is at the moment up...or down....never imbetween...and it changes in sometimes a matter of hours. Nevermind...they say what dont kill you makes you stronger....Love PP xx

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