Mumbling and Mirror Arguments/Lectures

[dragonflyuk]

If Mum is annoyed with one of us (normally dad ) she will walk off mumbling, this is getting worse, but if we don't annoy her, it isn't a problem.

However when she is feel agitated, mostly without our help, she will go off and find a mirror/window and have a really good argument, or dish out a lecture, or stern bollocking. These are usually just out of ear shot, so it isn't clear, what is said. My thinking is that she is reliving past events, possibly with things she wished she had said, or should have said etc. Dad thinks they are completely nonsense but I do disagree.

This at the moment is really just a little off putting for people around her. But I'm concerned they may escalate over time. Today she was upstairs in the bathroom, having a right ding dong, that we could hear over the telly down stairs.

She must also be aware that what she is doing is not normal, as soon as you walk into the room (obviously couldn't do that in the bathroom) she goes quiet, denies it (I've long since learnt not to ask), and wanders off.

Anybody any advice on dealing with the behaviour, she it worry us?

 

[karaokePete]

That seems to be a new slant of a common enough issue.

People with dementia are often 'fooled' by reflections in mirrors, windows etc., to the extent that they think other people are in the house. It often happens late in the day when shadows start to appear and they are also tired. It could be that is happening.

It's thought that some people with dementia no longer recognise their own reflection as they are, to an extent, lost in past memories and don't recognise the old person they see reflected back.

I know some people take to turning lights on and drawing curtains early, and even covering mirrors to deal with this issue.

 

[Old Flopsy]

Oh that's interesting- my OH is always very keen to close all the curtains- I hardly dare leave the lounge after 4pm or I will return to curtains closed and lamps on. If I protest he will open the curtains halfway lol!

 

[dragonflyuk]

I think in this instance, it is more driven by be aggravated, rather than reflections.

 

[dragonflyuk]

Taking onboard previous comments I'm wondering if the mirrors/windows are friends.

 

[Louise7]

Hello @dragonflyuk it's quite common to think that their own reflection is another person, and as your mum is having arguments and dishing out lectures to the 'people' she sees in reflections then it may be that they aren't considered to be 'friends' and this is adding to your mum's agitation. I removed/covered up the mirrors in mum's house - maybe you could try doing the same to see if it helps?

If your mum's agitation seems worse towards the end of the day she may be 'sundowning' - this factsheet provides some useful tips that could help: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms/sundowning

 

[dragonflyuk]

I wonder if when we have accidentally aggravated her, maybe she is ranting to her "friends" about us. This is my current theory, but maybe my main mistake it trying to apply logic to the situation.