1. shauna

    shauna Registered User

    Sep 10, 2010
    Visited mum yesterday afternoon she was in bed having a nap. She seemed relaxed as the nurse had put on her music which she loves.I stayed a few hours and just held her hand nowand again she would ask to go home and then drift off to sleep.Nurse said she had refused food again but is taking fluids tea and 7up .I noticed she had the same outfit on since sun and even though it was clean i wasn.t happy. When i was leaving i told the nurse i wanted her clothes changed the next day and that there was no need for her to have the same outfit on for three days as she has plent of changes. I inquired about her missing teeth but was told they were still missing.
    My brother visited today and was told teeth had been found but mum refused to wear them. They have been missing for a week so i think mum has just forgotten how to use them so not much point in pusuing it. My mum had been showered this morning and she had a fresh outfit on so it pays to speak your mind and let staff know that you are taking notice. If it happens again i will complain to the manager.
    Im visiting again tomorow and hope to get her hair done if she is able.

  2. sunny

    sunny Registered User

    Sep 1, 2006
    #2 sunny, Jun 23, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2011
    I glad you had a good visit to see your Mum relaxed. Sure does pay to speak your mind, well done! and I am glad you have a fairly good relationship with the staff and are able to do this in a manner which is not "blazing" because after all they are trying their best too. At times of heightened anxiety it is very easy to "blaze" the staff, but they are only human too. It is very important for all visitors to try and cultivate a good relationship with the care home staff and then when the anxiety levels increase a good honest talk with the staff can do wonders. I am sure most good home care managers have a very large box of tissues for all on the desk for those moments when it gets all to much.

    The other thing to mention is that with your Mum's clothing - is it suitable now for her to wear at this stage of her dementia - i.e. is it easy to put on and not painful for her to have limbs moved in a certain way, comfortable for her to wear as it does get very hot in the care homes and also you say she has lost a lot of weight - do they fit her now? I had to rethink Mum's wardrobe several times during the later stages of dementia and had to liaise with the care home staff as to what was suitable (not just based on whether it looked stylish) or not as the case may be. Her skin became very easily inflamed so some materials were just not suitable. Just a thought! perhaps the staff can help you with this.
  3. grobertson62

    grobertson62 Registered User

    Mar 7, 2011
    Hi Shauna

    I am pleased to see mum is now taking some fluids even though still not eating

    just know I am thinking of you

  4. shauna

    shauna Registered User

    Sep 10, 2010
    while visiting my mum yest i spoke to director of nursing and asked her if my mum could have a more permanent comfortable chair.I explained that because of her weight loss that she seemed very uncomfortable and was complaining a lot of her back. She agreed with me and within half an hour mum was sitting in a lovely big comfy armchair and she looked so much more comfortable.The chair has wheels on it so means i can move her around in it rather than having to use a wheelchair . When i left she looked so relaxed in her new chair and for once i wasn't in tears. I hope the chair wont go missing on her.
    Her condition is still the same no food and little fluids but she managed to have her hair done yesterday while i sat and held her hand and chatted to her and i got several lovely smiles from her and to me thats better than winning the lotto.

  5. littlegem

    littlegem Registered User

    Nov 11, 2010
    north Wales
    Hi Shauna, it sounds like the chair was a big hit with Mum.
    Not very nice being uncomfortable so you managed to make her more comfy.
    it's little things that make a big difference.
    Take care
  6. shauna

    shauna Registered User

    Sep 10, 2010
    hi littlegem

    your so right it is the little things that mean so much .


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