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Mum won't survive much longer like this. Can't believe how fast this has happened :'(

nick97

Registered User
Feb 16, 2020
59
0
Mum deteriorated a lot over the past week, and is now not drinking or eating. If I try to offer her something, she just pushes it away. She spends most time in bed now and can only just about walk. While the nurses who came out today didn't/wouldn't confirm EoL, mum is not going to survive much longer like this.

It's so difficult to process, as it's happened really quickly. I read about sometimes the PWD rallies, but I'm not hopeful.

Watching my mum try to speak is just so devastating.

The nurses did talk about mum going to the respite centre for two weeks to check her over but... I declined, as I wanted mum to be at home in her own bed where she's comfortable. I think it was the right decision... at least I hope so.

I'm just struck by how fast this has happened - as it has to many who have posted in the EoL section. It's literally unbelievable 😥
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
64,745
0
70
Dundee
I’m so sorry to read about your mum’s deterioration.

Thinking of you and wishing you strength.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,259
0
South coast
Im so sorry to hear about your mum.
I would reccommend that you contact her GP in case it is something treatable like a UTI. Also, it can only be a doctor who can diagnose End of Life. If he agree that she is, indeed EOL he can prescribe the drugs that will be needed to keep her comfortable (the so called "just in case " box) and can inform the District Nurses about her condition.
 

Lemondrizzle

Registered User
Aug 26, 2018
166
0
Although my MIL was at the extreme end of the anticipated life expectancy for Alzheimer's it was still a shock when out of the blue she started refusing food in what was for her, her final decline. They can rally but you are wise not to get your expectations up too much just now. I think you have done the right thing keeping her at home but you have had good advice to contact the GP. Wishing you all the best.
 

nick97

Registered User
Feb 16, 2020
59
0
Thanks everybody.

Yes, the nurses left a sample bottle and I've just gotten a sample of mum's urine and memory service will pick it up tomorrow. They're also prescribing some high calorie energy drinks to try to mitigate her weight loss, but I'm not hopeful, really.

Some of the best advice I saw on this forum was that food and drink should be offered, but never forced. And I think that's what I'm going to do.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,259
0
South coast
The memory clinic is not usually very adept at dealing with End of Life, because they do not usually see people at that advanced stage. The GP is much more likely to understand. Please do try and get them to prescribe the just-in-case box. The last few hours/days as the body closes down can be extremely painful and the JIC box contains strong pain killers to keep them painfree
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,517
0
I'm sorry to read your post @nick97 . I do not want to raise any false hopes but I would also check for oral thrush just in case that is a contributory factor in the refusing food and drink.
 

nick97

Registered User
Feb 16, 2020
59
0
Oh dear, mum just fainted and collapsed on the stairs after a real distant look in her eye. But she's gotten up and gone back to bed now. Ambulance coming out.

This is horrible :(
 

PetAng59

Registered User
Oct 11, 2020
32
0
Barnsley
Oh dear I am sorry to hear about your mum. Falls are so scary when they happen. I remember when my mum fell at the top of the stairs and nearly hung herself on the Bannister. Sending my love and support.
AJW
 

nick97

Registered User
Feb 16, 2020
59
0
Paramedics say her vital signs are all good, so she's still at home in bed. She came to and seemed to recognise me again and gave me a hug while she in bed.

But that distant, glazed look in her eye as she fainted was absolutely horrible 😥
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,610
0
West Hertfordshire
Will she eat anything at all? Wouldn't worry too much about what it is, if she'll eat it, give it to her.
Pot puddings- trifle etc.
Would she perhaps pick at a sandwich if you cut it into mouth sized pieces? Anything she can pick up with her fingers and just pop in her mouth might appeal.
 

Lemondrizzle

Registered User
Aug 26, 2018
166
0
Jessbow has some good suggestions there. Calories become more important than bare nutrition sometimes. We found MIL could process smooth things like custard, chocolate moose, jelly etc. but not "bitty" things, including rice pudding which she had always loved. She would take it in her mouth but a few minutes later spit out the actual rice pieces. Offer but not forced is definitely the best way to go. I will say that I have never met a patient yet that liked the energy drinks so you may not find them terribly successful.
 

nick97

Registered User
Feb 16, 2020
59
0
No, she's too far gone now sadly. She lived off custard, chocolate mousse and ice cream for a while, though. As mum was starting to go off all kinds of food early last year, I didn't know what on earth to buy.

Then I remembered that in her heyday, she used to like chocolate mousses, so I bought some, gave them to her and she came back from the living room with a huge smile on her face wanting more 🤗
 

nick97

Registered User
Feb 16, 2020
59
0
Well that took a little longer than I expected, but mum has gone now 😥

Very peaceful though; she drifted in and out of consciousness, but pulled my face towards her body and hugged me in her final hours so I think/hope she still recognised me at the end. At least she's at peace now 🕊️
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,259
0
South coast
I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad that it was peaceful
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

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