Mum with mixed dementia

[MeechW]

hello everyone

This is my first post here. My mum has vascular and Alzheimer’s. Mum is 83 and lives at home with dad who is 85. Dad is hee primary carer but myself and my sister try to help as much as we can. We have taken over the washing/ironing and housework and we have mum every Friday for the day so my dad can go to the pub and meet his friends. Mum seems to be getting worse, she no longer really knows who me and my sister are, she talks about us when we are with her,
Asking when is she going to see her girls. She also threats about my dad, asking where he is and when she’s going to see him. Just lately she is being really bad in the evenings and over night, my dad usually calls one of us and we try to calm her down. She keeps asking us to go and get her and take her home, sometimes she doesn’t know who my dad is. She is now keeping my dad awake a lot in the night, i reallly don’t know how to help him, I worry myself sick about his welfare…can anyone give us any tips? If my dad gets his sleep, he can cope but atm she is being a nightmare. Can sleeping tablets be issued for her?

Thanks for reading, dementia is the cruelest disease out there. It’s so so hard.

Michelle

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @MeechW Welcome

You and your sister are being wonderfully supportive to your dad.
The sleep deprivation is a problem so many carers experience. Sadly doctors hesitate to prescribe sleeping medication because it leaves the person with dementia at risk of falling.

It does sound as if your mother’s confusion is causing a lot of problems and perhaps there may be medication for that.

Have you and your dad considered getting some help from carers? They could give you all a few hours break It might be worth considering

 

[Izzy]

Welcome from me too @MeechW.

I do think it would be helpful to have carers. If your mum hasn’t already had an assessment of needs then this might be of interest -

Assessment for care and support in England

What are care assessments and how can people with dementia and their carers access them? This information is for care and support in England.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[MeechW]

Hello @MeechW Welcome

You and your sister are being wonderfully supportive to your dad.
The sleep deprivation is a problem so many carers experience. Sadly doctors hesitate to prescribe sleeping medication because it leaves the person with dementia at risk of falling.

It does sound as if your mother’s confusion is causing a lot of problems and perhaps there may be medication for that.

Have you and your dad considered getting some help from carers? They could give you all a few hours break It might be worth considering

 

[MeechW]

Thank you. Mum has a cater going in every day to shower and get her dressed but the problem is, there is no pattern to when they are coming. Sometimes they come early and she is still asleep, other times they come too late and she decides to sort herself out, which she can still kind of do. We tried to get her to go to a respite day centre a couple months ago. My sister and I took her and she did really enjoy it but then refused to go back. My dad says he’s not making her do things she doesn’t want to do, it’s such a shame because I think she would have settled and loved it.