Thanks Chemmy. I hope we will be allowed to take mum out at some stage. The last time she was in hospital, last summer, this was eventually allowed after about six weeks, although it was still a battle on each individual occasion. That time she was hospitalised for nothing more harmful than compulsively undressing, which was just a response to discomfort.
Mum sectioned in spite of my best efforts
- Thread starter Ash148
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Ash -keep going, keep pressing them. Ask if the 1:1 nurse could accompany you. Is there a garden at the Hospital where you could go? Lets face it OUTSIDE is good for most people. I really can't understand why they are refusing this request. I never came across this -and Pete was sectioned 5 times plus a good few DOLS. It was always written in his notes that he could be accompanied by Hospital personnel or his wife.
I'm wondering if this could be a violation of your Mum's Human Rights? Take care
Lyn T
Thanks LynT, I will. You have made me feel that I am not alone and not crazy for wanting a better deal for mum.
Brother angry with me for wanting to push for outings for mum. He's afraid of "another eviction notice for mum" because she has been in two nursing homes that haven't been able to cope with mum's needs.
I'm very sorry to hear all of this. You are having the experience I had, when we were dealing with my father. My sisters wouldn't speak with me. One even said I could never talk with my mother again, because my insisting that my father come home was upsetting her. All he wanted to do was die at home, and that was possible, but the family wouldn't have him home.
Have you talked with padraig or read his book, My Way? He will send it to you, if you ask him. He had placed his lovely wife Jean (I think was her name) in a care home, but he didn't think they were taking sufficient care there, and so he just up and took her home. Now, he cared for her, himself, at home, 100% of the time, once she was there.
I don't understand the system in the UK, where the person's family can't really intervene. And I guess the falling out with siblings is an issue, too.
Are your siblings upset that your attempts to intervene might make them look bad, you know, because they aren't so interested in the personal care as you are? Part of the problem, when it was agreed that my mother would come live with us here in our home, was that my sisters then started coming over and calling all the time, as if to indicate to her that they loved her. It was almost like a little competition among them, as if they were worried that she would think they didn't care about her (because none of them invited her to live with them).
It has all passed now, and I hope for your family that the situation calms down. I feel for you so. I know, having faced similar circumstances, how hard it is to feel the losses you are feeling. I felt so alone, and frustrated, and helpless. My heart goes out to you.
I'm ambivalent about this, and it really depends on how your mother reacts to these outings. If she is fine about returning then by all means take her out. But if it upsets her to the point that the care home finds it difficult to care for her after these outings, then perhaps it would be a good idea to back off.
Dear CJ, I haven't talked to Padraig but have read and been inspired by his book and send it to all of my siblings. Sadly, I am afraid that their minds re closed for various different reasons.
Dear Jennifer! Mum is in hospital not a home at present. So far, no outings have been allowed so we cannot judge how they would go for her but until her admission she was enjoying regular outings from her nursing home. I would like to try but of course would accept if outings proved more disruptive than comforting.
Dear Jennifer! Mum is in hospital not a home at present. So far, no outings have been allowed so we cannot judge how they would go for her but until her admission she was enjoying regular outings from her nursing home. I would like to try but of course would accept if outings proved more disruptive than comforting.
I think outings are always worth a try. My mother no longer knows how to see things. She will sort of look at things if we ask her to focus on them, but she is beyond being able to enjoy and take things in. That's okay. We still take her out on warm days in spring and summer, and we show her how to see the birds in the trees, etc. I hope your mother gets out of hospital soon.
