Mum needs to move to a home now that Dad has passed away

[Winns17]

Hello, I’m new here!

My Dad passed away last week, after a very short illness. He was Mums carer sat their home, and she’d never had anyone else in to look after her. Dementia was pretty much her worst nightmare, she always hated being seen to make mistakes or get things wrong, and tried to hide what was happening even when she could barely communicate anymore. Dad was due to go into hospital for a procedure the day after he died, and she was to go to a home for the weekend, however, she started hitting/pinching/screaming when people tried to move her. The emergency care changed to 24/7 home care, but she’s still very angry and they have said it’s not really safe as a long term option for her which we all agree with.

Social services said yesterday that they’re looking at getting a court order to enable them to move her. I can’t find any info on this scenario, only on sectioning. Has anyone experienced it? My Dad was only 68 and had been in good health until 5 weeks ago, and so we have all been thrown in the deep end here.

Just to make things easier… I don’t live nearby either.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @Winns17 Welcome.

I don`t know enough about court orders but I`m sure there are people here who do.

Meanwhile please contact the Helpline. I`m sure you will get the correct advice there.

Dementia Support Line

If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Dilly Dilly]

Hello, I’m new here!

My Dad passed away last week, after a very short illness. He was Mums carer sat their home, and she’d never had anyone else in to look after her. Dementia was pretty much her worst nightmare, she always hated being seen to make mistakes or get things wrong, and tried to hide what was happening even when she could barely communicate anymore. Dad was due to go into hospital for a procedure the day after he died, and she was to go to a home for the weekend, however, she started hitting/pinching/screaming when people tried to move her. The emergency care changed to 24/7 home care, but she’s still very angry and they have said it’s not really safe as a long term option for her which we all agree with.

Social services said yesterday that they’re looking at getting a court order to enable them to move her. I can’t find any info on this scenario, only on sectioning. Has anyone experienced it? My Dad was only 68 and had been in good health until 5 weeks ago, and so we have all been thrown in the deep end here.

Just to make things easier… I don’t live nearby either.

I believe there is a process called Dols which is about the necessary restriction of liberty for people who would be vulnerable if left to freely roam. The system is different if a person is at home or in a care facility. It's meant to safeguard the adults rights and advocacy. Adult social care should be able to advise. X

 

[MartinWL]

The only court that could deal with this is the court of protection. It has wide-ranging powers so I suppose the local authority could ask the Court to authorise her forcible removal to a care home, but this isn't something I have heard of before, and probably very rare.

 

[canary]

Hi @Winns17
Im guessing that no-one holds Health and Welfare POA for your mum. Because your mum is still at home and will not go willingly into a care/nursing home, someone will have to make the decision to remove her. In the absence of a Health and Welfare POA, Social Services are going to apply to the Court of Protection for a one off Health and Welfare decision about where she is going to live. If the court decides that she needs to be in a care/nursing home this gives SS the authority to move her.

It is, indeed, quite rare and can take a bit of time, but everything else has been tried and this is now the least restrictive route for her. If must be so difficult for you. Im sure your mum will eventually settle in a care/nursing home, but she needs to be got there.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Winns17]

Hi @Winns17
Im guessing that no-one holds Health and Welfare POA for your mum. Because your mum is still at home and will not go willingly into a care/nursing home, someone will have to make the decision to remove her. In the absence of a Health and Welfare POA, Social Services are going to apply to the Court of Protection for a one off Health and Welfare decision about where she is going to live. If the court decides that she needs to be in a care/nursing home this gives SS the authority to move her.

It is, indeed, quite rare and can take a bit of time, but everything else has been tried and this is now the least restrictive route for her. If must be so difficult for you. Im sure your mum will eventually settle in a care/nursing home, but she needs to be got there.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for this, it’s really helpful. You’re correct that nobody has POA. She was too far gone before my Dad realised it was something that could’ve been done, and he was gone before getting around to doing anything else. I think we all thought he’d outlive her to be honest, and that Dad had things under control.

 

[canary]

You’re correct that nobody has POA. She was too far gone before my Dad realised it was something that could’ve been done, and he was gone before getting around to doing anything else

I assume this means that you dont have POA for her finances either.
Someone is going to need the authority to administer her finances and pay the care home fees (when she gets there!). This person (maybe you) will need to apply to the Court of Protection for deputyship - which is similar to POA - to do this. If you dont want to do it, then SS will apply instead, but be aware that this will mean that you will have no say in what happens to her assets, property or possessions. If you want to go ahead, then do it as soon as possible. I did deputyship for my mum and you dont need to use a solicitor. You can download the forms from the gov site and do it yourself, although I would advise getting some help from AgeUK or Citizens Advice to make sure you havent overlooked anything.

 

[blueorchid]

I am so sorry for your loss. It's a horrible situation dealing with grief and being thrown in the deep end of managing your mothers welfare and finances. Having gone through the deputyship process I would say it is very lengthy but don't panic. The system kicks in whilst you wait for the court of protection to approve the deputyship. My mum was moved into a Care Home whilst my dad was still laid out on the floor - this was in the first lockdown. Two years on payment is still deferred on the Care Home whilst we wait for her house sale to go through. It took 18mnths for the deputyship to be approved however our solicitor sat on the paperwork for months and the system was backlogged due to the pandemic - so hopefully wont be the same for you. it's good that Social Services are on board - they have been brilliant for advising and leading. The key thing is to let DWP and utility companies know the situation, they're familiar with it and have processes to manage it until you have authority granted to manage her money and health.