Hi, feeling really anxious, just lost my mum-in-law to cancer and struggling with that, have just found out my mum has alzheimers. Dont know what to do first, my dad will need support too. Any ideas please?
Mum just been diagnosed
- Thread starter Andrea64
- Start date
hello Andrea64
you've just successfully taken that first step by becoming a member of TP; it's an amazing community of people who are walking the road you are now starting on
so a warm welcome
you'll find lots of information here and plenty of folk who understand to share experiences with
I do suggest looking for what is available in their area here
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121&_ga=1.61414895.213745934.1462100281#!/results/list?p=0&q=%7B%22place%22:%22linconshire%22,%22alz%22:false,%22cat%22:125%7D
if there's a local carers/dementia café, people there will have info that may well help
do contact their GP and consultant regularly to keep them up to date
consider applying for Attendance Allowance - if you think your mum doesn't qualify at the moment, at least you will have some idea of how to apply in the future - AGE UK and CAB can help you filling in the forms
do contact your Council and apply for a reduction in the Council Tax
and look into Powers of Attorney (maybe for them both, as none of us know what's around the corner); these will give the Attorneys very useful legal authority to act on your mums behalf
keep in mind that you are the same people today as you were just before the diagnosis, so don't panic you have time to gradually put in place any support you need - continue to enjoy your time together
and keep posting on TP
best wishes to you all
you've just successfully taken that first step by becoming a member of TP; it's an amazing community of people who are walking the road you are now starting on
so a warm welcome
you'll find lots of information here and plenty of folk who understand to share experiences with
I do suggest looking for what is available in their area here
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121&_ga=1.61414895.213745934.1462100281#!/results/list?p=0&q=%7B%22place%22:%22linconshire%22,%22alz%22:false,%22cat%22:125%7D
if there's a local carers/dementia café, people there will have info that may well help
do contact their GP and consultant regularly to keep them up to date
consider applying for Attendance Allowance - if you think your mum doesn't qualify at the moment, at least you will have some idea of how to apply in the future - AGE UK and CAB can help you filling in the forms
do contact your Council and apply for a reduction in the Council Tax
and look into Powers of Attorney (maybe for them both, as none of us know what's around the corner); these will give the Attorneys very useful legal authority to act on your mums behalf
keep in mind that you are the same people today as you were just before the diagnosis, so don't panic you have time to gradually put in place any support you need - continue to enjoy your time together
and keep posting on TP
best wishes to you all
Last edited:
Hi Andrea,
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. My mum has just this week been diagnosed with mixed early stage dementia. I feel like the mum I know has gone, she's just not the same. My poor dad is suffering most because she believes he is someone else - today he has been her uncle jack, even though he died years ago! Heaven forbid we correct her as she becomes nasty and unpleasant and says we are all mad! Anyway, I know there's a long road ahead, please don't feel alone. Xxxx
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. My mum has just this week been diagnosed with mixed early stage dementia. I feel like the mum I know has gone, she's just not the same. My poor dad is suffering most because she believes he is someone else - today he has been her uncle jack, even though he died years ago! Heaven forbid we correct her as she becomes nasty and unpleasant and says we are all mad! Anyway, I know there's a long road ahead, please don't feel alone. Xxxx
Thanks for responding. Mums not yet at the stage of not recognising people but she does become aggressive verbally if we correct her, it's not nice. i really feel for my dad, he's being so patient with her, it must be so difficult at times. Think we have a long road ahead of us but it is good to chat to people who understand!
Hi Andrea64
good to read that your mum knows you and your dad; some people keep that recognition, or at least know that family are good, safe people they want around them
I wonder if this thread on compassionate communication may help you and your dad - I found it useful in offering ways to work out how to approach my dad and begin to grasp how things are for him - I learnt early that correcting him just led to building his anxiety and so he took the frustration out on me (which is pretty understandable); so soothing tones and distraction are the way to go
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?30801-Compassionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired
best wishes
good to read that your mum knows you and your dad; some people keep that recognition, or at least know that family are good, safe people they want around them
I wonder if this thread on compassionate communication may help you and your dad - I found it useful in offering ways to work out how to approach my dad and begin to grasp how things are for him - I learnt early that correcting him just led to building his anxiety and so he took the frustration out on me (which is pretty understandable); so soothing tones and distraction are the way to go
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?30801-Compassionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired
best wishes
