mum is refusing to take meds and hitting staff and residents

[MaNaAk]

so, i’m going to visit on saturday, in the hopes i can make mum happy though i’m sure she will just be angry at me for abandoning her, i haven’t seen her since christmas day, no phone either.

they have moved her to the memory wing so everything will be different.

im really scared. i want to go to let her know i haven’t forgotten her, but i don’t want to go because the reality of the visit will be difficult and upsetting and i’ll get frustrated and leave very quickly....

i thought i’d come armed with the wedding photo album, and a fashion book of the same era that she had, she might like....

but i’m guessing she doesn’t remember much about the wedding now and is in her earlier days but there aren’t many photos of then, not enough for me to keep a conversation going of more than 10 minutes....

im scared because i know she won’t be the mum i love and miss, she will either be angry and blameful or clingy and whiney trying to make me take her home.

i feel like they should be locking her up in a padded room the stories they tell me....

and my own feelings of selfishness for not seeing her will.. surface. but i know i needed the time. it’s been really hard but i’ve gotten enough of her stuff sorted that i can see and vacuum my floor! there’s still much to do though.

Are you able to take some CDs as well as music can have a calming effect and evoke memories?

MaNaAk

 

[lushr]

@lemonbalm yeah i probably should have said that, but i was honest to a fault and they were nice about it, i made it clear they shouldn’t feel obligated to her or me, so at least it wasn’t a selfish visit.

it’s over now, back to concentrating on what step to put my life back together.

thry are reviewing mums meds, they are finally planning to get her off effexor which has been helping her not at all for 40 years.