Mum is newly diagnosed- looking for advice

[Minerva_]

Hi everyone, this is my first post as my 81 yr old mum received a diagnosis earlier this month. I would really appreciate some advice as I feel like I've already messed up!
She is living at home with my dad (also 81 and quite frail himself) and I live close by. She received a prescription this week to start on Donepezil. The instructions from the memory clinic were to start off with 5mg in case of any side effects. The tablets came in 10mg, so I suppose she was expected to break one in half. Unfortunately she got confused and took two whole tablets, which resulted in her vomiting all night. My dad called me early in the morning and I called 111 who advised that fortunately it wasn't a toxic dose and that she just needed to drink lots of fluids and wait for the effects to wear off.
Unsurprisingly, she's now refusing to try the medication again and who can blame her? I feel so guilty that I wasn't there to supervise and am now seeing that my both my parents are struggling to cope. They are usually very good at taking their regular medication, but I'm now thinking this should be supervised somehow. I left a message with the memory clinic this afternoon to report what has happened but haven't had a call back yet.
They are coping well in terms of shopping/ cooking/ caring for themselves and are both physically mobile, so I didn't think they needed any help the home yet, but this incident has made me think otherwise.
Can anyone advise as to what I should do? This is all quite new to me, so my head is in a spin. Thank you.

 

[Clarrisa]

Hello. Welcome to this forum. Everyone is very supportive here and they will offer their suggestions. You could phone the pharmacist and ask for 5mg tablets in a blister pack that way your mum/dad and you will know when they‘ve been taken. The pharmacy has a cutter so they can easily cut the tablets in half for your mum.

In terms of admin (or sadmin) if you havent already get the POAs arranged for both your parents. https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

Your mum and maybe your dad may now be eligible for Attendance Allowance which isn’t means tested and can help fund with any care or general support they might need now and as time goes on. https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance

Don’t forget to look after yourself too. There are Admiral nurses who you can speak to whenever you need someone to talk to either on the phone, on Zoom or in-person.

What is an Admiral Nurse and how can they help?

Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.

www.dementiauk.org

We all know what you’re going through.

C x

 

[Jessie5]

Welcome to the forum and I’m sorry you find yourself here. You have absolutely not failed your mum at all so please don’t beat yourself up. We are all learning all the time with this illness.

You could ask your parents pharmacist if they offer monitored dosing or a dosset system for medication, where all pills are measured out per dosage per day. Or you can get a days of the week tablet box and do it yourself? Why not try that as a starting point and see how they get on? Then maybe try your Mum with the medication again in a few weeks when the memory of the sickness is less raw!

If they still struggle to cope you could explore getting a carer in to help just with medication for now? Make sure your Mum is getting Attendance Allowance which can help with the cost of some help?

It is all really hard post diagnosis for the person with dementia and their family so be very kind to yourself.

 

[Minerva_]

Hi Clarrisa and Jessie,

Thank you so much for your kind words- this is all really useful advice. I'm going to talk to the pharmacist next week and see if they can help with a dosset. I will check out the Admiral nurses too. Fortunately my brother and I do have POA for both my parents now, so that is one less thing to think about.

I am also going to explore getting a carer to come and visit to oversee their meds. I'll let you know how I get on.

Really, really appreciate your advice- feels great to know I'm not alone!

 

[hilary88]

Hi everyone, this is my first post as my 81 yr old mum received a diagnosis earlier this month. I would really appreciate some advice as I feel like I've already messed up!
She is living at home with my dad (also 81 and quite frail himself) and I live close by. She received a prescription this week to start on Donepezil. The instructions from the memory clinic were to start off with 5mg in case of any side effects. The tablets came in 10mg, so I suppose she was expected to break one in half. Unfortunately she got confused and took two whole tablets, which resulted in her vomiting all night. My dad called me early in the morning and I called 111 who advised that fortunately it wasn't a toxic dose and that she just needed to drink lots of fluids and wait for the effects to wear off.
Unsurprisingly, she's now refusing to try the medication again and who can blame her? I feel so guilty that I wasn't there to supervise and am now seeing that my both my parents are struggling to cope. They are usually very good at taking their regular medication, but I'm now thinking this should be supervised somehow. I left a message with the memory clinic this afternoon to report what has happened but haven't had a call back yet.
They are coping well in terms of shopping/ cooking/ caring for themselves and are both physically mobile, so I didn't think they needed any help the home yet, but this incident has made me think otherwise.
Can anyone advise as to what I should do? This is all quite new to me, so my head is in a spin. Thank you.

Hi, I care for my Dad but he's living in his own home. When he first got diagnosed and started medication the memory clinic said I need to ensure he took the medication accurately and may need a carer to support with this. Having looked into the cost, I decided to try a pill dispenser that he couldn't tamper with or get wrong. It has been just amazing and after a few shaky starts he copes really well with it. I load it with his pills and then lock it and the alarm is set. He calls me when it's gone off and tells me he's taking his meds. Even if your parents are coping well now, get them used to this system now, as it will save so much money in the long run. Here's the link and well worth every penny.

Sorry I'm not allowed to post a link for some reason.
I got it on Amazon

PIVOTELL® Advance Automatic Medication Pill Dispenser with Alarm - Enhanced Security & Advanced Technology Trusted by The NHS to Help Dementia Patients Remember to take Their Medication​

I hope this helps.

Take care Hilary

 

[Minerva_]

Hi Hilary- that looks amazing. Thanks very much for the info, glad to hear it helped your dad so much. Could be just what we need.