This is the first time I'm writing (other than my introductory note) . Though I've wanted to post on a few occasions now suddenly I feel the need to do so and, if possible, hear back from anyone with whom my situation resonates.
It feels to me that in the past few days Mum, who is 94, has moved into a new place, what in my head I am calling her 'approaching the end of the road': she's sleeping/napping much more, eating miniscule amounts, taking more time than before to respond. We - the woman who is with her during the day who is so loving, so kind - have decided to readjust her 'meals' to whenever she feels she can manage something (so, a single finger of bread with egg salad and a tiny bit of apple juice for breakfast). Somehow it feels wrong to even be coaxing her....The reality is that Mum is going to die sooner rather than later and I am feeling terribly alone in all of this. While I have siblings, who live in another town (I am in India) we seem to inhabit different emotional worlds, with different abilities and needs to articulate difficult stuff. For the past four years since Mum began this particular journey - of dementia, about which so little is understood here; India is several decades behind based on all that I have read since joining this site - I have had a great need to be able to share the gradual unfolding of our mother's self with my siblings, to talk and grieve, but that has never happened. That's not to say that they aren't experiencing their own feelings and thoughts but I've always been closer to Mum, the youngest, the one who moved back this country not exclusively but also to take care of her when she would need looking after...
Well, I guess that's it for the moment. Thank you for reading!
It feels to me that in the past few days Mum, who is 94, has moved into a new place, what in my head I am calling her 'approaching the end of the road': she's sleeping/napping much more, eating miniscule amounts, taking more time than before to respond. We - the woman who is with her during the day who is so loving, so kind - have decided to readjust her 'meals' to whenever she feels she can manage something (so, a single finger of bread with egg salad and a tiny bit of apple juice for breakfast). Somehow it feels wrong to even be coaxing her....The reality is that Mum is going to die sooner rather than later and I am feeling terribly alone in all of this. While I have siblings, who live in another town (I am in India) we seem to inhabit different emotional worlds, with different abilities and needs to articulate difficult stuff. For the past four years since Mum began this particular journey - of dementia, about which so little is understood here; India is several decades behind based on all that I have read since joining this site - I have had a great need to be able to share the gradual unfolding of our mother's self with my siblings, to talk and grieve, but that has never happened. That's not to say that they aren't experiencing their own feelings and thoughts but I've always been closer to Mum, the youngest, the one who moved back this country not exclusively but also to take care of her when she would need looking after...
Well, I guess that's it for the moment. Thank you for reading!