Hi everyone. I really need some advice. My mother is 90 but only recently been diagnosed with the fronto-temporal type of Alzheimer's. She has always had a difficult personality and my siblings and I think she may have had this for years without anyone knowing. She has been in a nursing home (my father is in there too - he is 99!) for three months now but she went there on doctors advice after contracting shingles to convalesce. As far as she is concerned, she is going home and this is only temporary. The dementia diagnosis came after a brain scan and tests by a consultant geriatrician. The illness seems to be accelerating quite fast and it is obvious now she is quite unable to look after herself and dad. Now we know for definite she cannot go home we are having to think about their assets. We have Power of Attorney. There is enough money to pay for both of them for a while but we need to think about selling the house as we will need the money for their care and it is a liability standing empty as they have some nice possessions.
The trouble is, I feel terrible! Mum constantly goes on about going home, even packs her bags and presses clothes and toiletries into my hands to take. She looks out the window constantly for my brothers car to 'take her home'. My dad knows she has dementia and has accepted they can't go home but she has no idea. She has no insight into the state she is in. She is frail, shaky and her memory is going fast.
My instinct is to wait a while before selling but that doesn't make sense as they are never returning! If we bring some of her possessions to the home she will wonder what on earth we are doing and will kick off. The home staff have said not to tell her she has dementia. So what do we do? How have others managed this situation? Would be grateful for any support, thank you.
The trouble is, I feel terrible! Mum constantly goes on about going home, even packs her bags and presses clothes and toiletries into my hands to take. She looks out the window constantly for my brothers car to 'take her home'. My dad knows she has dementia and has accepted they can't go home but she has no idea. She has no insight into the state she is in. She is frail, shaky and her memory is going fast.
My instinct is to wait a while before selling but that doesn't make sense as they are never returning! If we bring some of her possessions to the home she will wonder what on earth we are doing and will kick off. The home staff have said not to tell her she has dementia. So what do we do? How have others managed this situation? Would be grateful for any support, thank you.