Mum has passed away

Shakey1961a

Registered User
Nov 7, 2004
111
0
Southport
Hello all. It's been such a long time since I was on here, but I thought I'd do you the courtesy of informing you that my dear Mum passed away 10:25am Tuesday 24 November 2009. She was in no pain and comfortable and I was holding her hand to the end.

In October the home put Mum on valium to try and relax he very contracted muscles and joints, which did seem to help. Then about 3 weeks ago today she started having problems swallowing and was choking on her food and drink and was bringing up what looked like some mucus. It wasn't nice to see. The doc gave her some penicillin which seemed to help.

They did suggest putting her on a drip, but the doc thought it may not help and I'm beating myself up for agreeing with him and not giving her the drip.

She was unable to eat or drink for about 5 days.

I shall NEVER EVER AGAIN in my life watch a person die. I keep replaying Mum's last few minutes and seconds over and over.

She is now at peace and I'm heart-broken. I seem to be coping so far, but I have no siblings and I'm not married and have no kids. I have good friends though.

How am I going to cope without her for the rest of my life?

I'll keep in touch, looking on here from time to time, but I can only get on here by using my mates computer.

Kindest regards to you all

Steve
 

Winnie Kjaer

Account Closed
Aug 14, 2009
2,011
0
Devon
I too would like to send you my warmest condolences. It is so hard to lose your Mum, have no regrets though you were there for your mother and she knew you loved her. The doctor would have known what was best for her at the time.Best wishes and hope you find a new routine in time.
 

oldsoulchild

Registered User
Apr 16, 2008
54
0
so sorry to hear your mum has passed away. i am also on my own watching my mam fade away day by day. im sure in time you will remember the good times and not her last few days. xx
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
0
Derbyshire
Hi Steve:
I am so sorry to hear this news. YOU did your utmost for your Mum and she will have known that.

At least now she is away from the torment of dementia. Let her rest in peace. I know she would want you to be happy in your life from now on.

Jan
 

Vonny

Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
4,577
0
Telford
Steve, I didn't see your early posts about your mum because I'm pretty much a newcomer to TP, but your post has wrung my heart. I'm so sorry about your mum and hope that visiting TP will help you in the sad days to come.

Vonny xx
 

wispa

Registered User
Nov 5, 2009
140
0
I just wanted to add how sorry I was to read your post, please accept my deepest condolances.

Your Mum is at peace now and all her pain and suffering is at an end.

Take care of yourself.

XXX
 

lesmisralbles

Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
5,543
0
When, and if you read this again, you wil be gald you were with your mum when she died.
She knew you were there XXX

Barb X
 

julieann15

Registered User
Jun 13, 2008
2,012
0
Leicestershire
Dear steve
I don't think our paths have crossed before but I just wanted to let you know how sad I was to read your mum has passed away.
Thinking of you at this sad time

Love Julie xx
 

CraigC

Registered User
Mar 21, 2003
6,631
0
London
So sorry Steve. Very hard time for you near the end and it is horrible to have to make difficult decision when you are going through all these emotions.

Unfortunately we have members including myself who have lost mothers, fathers and loved ones, so if ever you need someone or somewhere to talk we are here. Good to talk to people who may understand how you feel and also hope you get support from your friends.

We have a special area where you can get support if you need it:
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=28

Take care
Craig
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
1,669
0
56
NZ
Thoughts go with you at this sad time. I think for all of us those last few days remain etched in our brains, in astounding clarity.

Courage and strength for the sad days ahead.

Love

Mameeskye
 

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
1,881
0
Nr Mold
So sorry Steve take comfort from knowing that your dear mum is at peace and that you were there loving and supporting her.
 

Mim

Registered User
Oct 26, 2009
7
0
Walthamstow, London
Steve, I am so sorry for the pain that you're in. Though I know I have it ahead of me with my own mum, yet I cannot quite imagine how you must be feeling. It must seem unbearable at the moment but I'm sure in time you will build a new life and then the fond memories of your dear mother, and the love and devotion you have for her, will come to the fore.

Take care of yourself.