1. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    Hello all. It's been such a long time since I was on here, but I thought I'd do you the courtesy of informing you that my dear Mum passed away 10:25am Tuesday 24 November 2009. She was in no pain and comfortable and I was holding her hand to the end.

    In October the home put Mum on valium to try and relax he very contracted muscles and joints, which did seem to help. Then about 3 weeks ago today she started having problems swallowing and was choking on her food and drink and was bringing up what looked like some mucus. It wasn't nice to see. The doc gave her some penicillin which seemed to help.

    They did suggest putting her on a drip, but the doc thought it may not help and I'm beating myself up for agreeing with him and not giving her the drip.

    She was unable to eat or drink for about 5 days.

    I shall NEVER EVER AGAIN in my life watch a person die. I keep replaying Mum's last few minutes and seconds over and over.

    She is now at peace and I'm heart-broken. I seem to be coping so far, but I have no siblings and I'm not married and have no kids. I have good friends though.

    How am I going to cope without her for the rest of my life?

    I'll keep in touch, looking on here from time to time, but I can only get on here by using my mates computer.

    Kindest regards to you all

  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    I`m so sorry Steve. Please accept my sincere condolences.
  3. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    East Midlands
    Sorry to hear about your mum, Steve.

    My deepest sympathy.

    Love xx
  4. Winnie Kjaer

    Winnie Kjaer Account Closed

    Aug 14, 2009
    I too would like to send you my warmest condolences. It is so hard to lose your Mum, have no regrets though you were there for your mother and she knew you loved her. The doctor would have known what was best for her at the time.Best wishes and hope you find a new routine in time.
  5. larivy

    larivy Registered User

    Apr 19, 2009
    sorry to hear your sad news steve my deepest sympathy larivy
  6. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Oh Steve, my heart goes out to you at this sad time.

    Please accept my sincere condolences. Take care now.
  7. oldsoulchild

    oldsoulchild Registered User

    Apr 16, 2008
    so sorry to hear your mum has passed away. i am also on my own watching my mam fade away day by day. im sure in time you will remember the good times and not her last few days. xx
  8. scarletpauline

    scarletpauline Registered User

    Jul 19, 2009
    Sorry to hear your sad news, be comforted that your mum is now at peace and you were with her to the end, love Pauline xx
  9. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Hi Steve:
    I am so sorry to hear this news. YOU did your utmost for your Mum and she will have known that.

    At least now she is away from the torment of dementia. Let her rest in peace. I know she would want you to be happy in your life from now on.

  10. Vonny

    Vonny Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    Steve, I didn't see your early posts about your mum because I'm pretty much a newcomer to TP, but your post has wrung my heart. I'm so sorry about your mum and hope that visiting TP will help you in the sad days to come.

    Vonny xx
  11. shelagh

    shelagh Registered User

    Sep 28, 2009
    Hello, Can I send you my deepest sympathy and hope you can find some peace in the months to come
  12. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Steve,

    Sending condolences on your Mother's passing.

    May you be granted the strength to get you through the coming days.

  13. wispa

    wispa Registered User

    Nov 5, 2009
    I just wanted to add how sorry I was to read your post, please accept my deepest condolances.

    Your Mum is at peace now and all her pain and suffering is at an end.

    Take care of yourself.

  14. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    When, and if you read this again, you wil be gald you were with your mum when she died.
    She knew you were there XXX

    Barb X
  15. parmit

    parmit Registered User

    Nov 12, 2009
    w yorks
    I don't know you but please accept my condolances at this sad time.
    She is in a better place now xxx
  16. julieann15

    julieann15 Registered User

    Jun 13, 2008
    Dear steve
    I don't think our paths have crossed before but I just wanted to let you know how sad I was to read your mum has passed away.
    Thinking of you at this sad time

    Love Julie xx
  17. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    So sorry Steve. Very hard time for you near the end and it is horrible to have to make difficult decision when you are going through all these emotions.

    Unfortunately we have members including myself who have lost mothers, fathers and loved ones, so if ever you need someone or somewhere to talk we are here. Good to talk to people who may understand how you feel and also hope you get support from your friends.

    We have a special area where you can get support if you need it:

    Take care
  18. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    Thoughts go with you at this sad time. I think for all of us those last few days remain etched in our brains, in astounding clarity.

    Courage and strength for the sad days ahead.


  19. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    Nr Mold
    So sorry Steve take comfort from knowing that your dear mum is at peace and that you were there loving and supporting her.
  20. Mim

    Mim Registered User

    Oct 26, 2009
    Walthamstow, London
    Steve, I am so sorry for the pain that you're in. Though I know I have it ahead of me with my own mum, yet I cannot quite imagine how you must be feeling. It must seem unbearable at the moment but I'm sure in time you will build a new life and then the fond memories of your dear mother, and the love and devotion you have for her, will come to the fore.

    Take care of yourself.

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