Mum going to a care home

[Mary's daughter]

Hello Everyone

A very difficult week. Last Saturday (early hours) my mum went walkabout and was found at the end of the road - she was going to meet my dad at work, she said. He was fast asleep in their bed! An ambulance was called and she has spent the last week in hospital. Unfortunately, she has been extremely distressed and became quite aggressive when trying to get out of the ward and is now on Halipederol (?). Her dementia had become much worse over the last year and my 84 year old father has been struggling to cope. We have been told she must go into a care home as she needs 24 hour nursing care - although physically not too bad for 85, mentally she is very confused and lost much of the time. Sadly, she is still all too aware who my dad is and desperately wants to be with him. He is devastated and had been in denial as to how bad things were. The hospital experience has been very mixed with some staff absolutely wonderful and others completely lacking in understanding. I'm off to see a care home in the morning and am absolutely dreading it. It really is the most difficult thing to do for a parent.

 

[cathykins]

Hello Everyone

A very difficult week. Last Saturday (early hours) my mum went walkabout and was found at the end of the road - she was going to meet my dad at work, she said. He was fast asleep in their bed! An ambulance was called and she has spent the last week in hospital. Unfortunately, she has been extremely distressed and became quite aggressive when trying to get out of the ward and is now on Halipederol (?). Her dementia had become much worse over the last year and my 84 year old father has been struggling to cope. We have been told she must go into a care home as she needs 24 hour nursing care - although physically not too bad for 85, mentally she is very confused and lost much of the time. Sadly, she is still all too aware who my dad is and desperately wants to be with him. He is devastated and had been in denial as to how bad things were. The hospital experience has been very mixed with some staff absolutely wonderful and others completely lacking in understanding. I'm off to see a care home in the morning and am absolutely dreading it. It really is the most difficult thing to do for a parent.

I feel for you and know exactly how you feel. Mum was admitted in the early hours following severe seizures, and she will be transferred to a nursing home, as my dad is also struggling to cope. It is the hardest decision to make, but I feel it is the best place for her, as we never know whether to call for the paramedics or not.

We have had similar experiences with the hospital - as you say, some staff are angels, and some really should work somewhere else.

All we can do is try to make sure our loved ones are as comfortable as possible, while we wait for the inevitable.

Life sucks at times, but it is good to have this forum to enable us to share our experiences.

Hugs to you and your family x

 

[Mary's daughter]

Thank you. All good wishes to you too.

I feel for you and know exactly how you feel. Mum was admitted in the early hours following severe seizures, and she will be transferred to a nursing home, as my dad is also struggling to cope. It is the hardest decision to make, but I feel it is the best place for her, as we never know whether to call for the paramedics or not.

We have had similar experiences with the hospital - as you say, some staff are angels, and some really should work somewhere else.

All we can do is try to make sure our loved ones are as comfortable as possible, while we wait for the inevitable.

Life sucks at times, but it is good to have this forum to enable us to share our experiences.

Hugs to you and your family x