My lovely mum died this morning. I wasn't there so she was all alone, she is gone. The care home didn't even call me, emailed my brother-in-law saying they were unable to reach me. No, a lie, they have emailed me many times and have my cell number. Just last night the careworker said "We will phone you if anything happens before you get here, it doesn't matter about cost does it, you deserve to know..." What!!?? I knew it all comes down to money, they couldn't even call me to say mum has passed away. After not drinking or eating for days, she was smiling last night and drank 1/2 a litre so I'm told, then died today. I am so sorry mum I wasn't there. I hate myself, my daughter and I were booked on Icelandair for last night so we would have arrived this am UK time, the airline changed planes at the last minute to a Portuguese airline as Icelandair have grounded the 737 max 8 planes they usually used and were leasing other.planes. My daughter is so terrified of flying and was near hysterical, we had a near crash on American Airlines and she never got over it, so we didn't get on the Portuguese aircraft as it has such bad reviews and after hearing mum was drinking water now I thought we had a little more time. If I had got on that plane I would have been by mum's side, why didn't I just go..the timing...mum would have passed away with me there for her literally an hour after I could have got to her. She is alone at the funeral directors. I can't think straight, my daughter and I are now coming over by ship which leaves July 7th and will take 7 days. I have to ask if the funeral place will keep mum's ashes for me until then. Per her wishes she will be cremated and I won't get to see her and tell her I love her so much and I'm so sorry and hope she is at peace. My daughter and I will take mum to the Lake District where she wanted to go to be with my step father who died in 2004. My brother and his wife abused mum, she was aware of What they were doing and it breaks my heart. She.suffered.