Mum approaching time for care home - experience of those in Nottingham?

[PinkSheep]

Hi everyone, I live a couple of hours away from my Mum (I live in Nottingham) and she is in the moderate stage of vascular dementia. She has carers 4 times a day but sadly I think we are approaching the point where she will need a care home soon. She is starting to not know she is in her own home and is very tearful and upset a lot of the time. She doesn't remember the carers have been and is frequently distressed and wanders around at night emptying drawers! We get lots of phone calls, sometimes in the middle of the night but not often.

We tried Sertraline but she reacted badly to it (she is very slight) and we had to stop, so she is very anxious and gets the classic sundowning.

We want to keep her at home for as long as possible, and I think she is still safe at present but want to be ready to move quickly when the time comes. She will be self funding and I am looking for something near where I live in the Mapperley/Sherwood area of Nottingham - if anyone has any experience of good homes in these areas I would be grateful - thanks.

It's very hard to know what to do for the best in these COVID times! I have the discussion with my husband and sister multiple times a day about what to do for the best! I wish there was a magic formula to know when the right time to go into a care home is (if there every is a right time!) Thanks for reading.

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @PinkSheep, this might be a useful start to your search for care homes, Care Home UK. I think it is sensible to start looking before it becomes essential, I first went to look at care homes in 2017, and mum didn't move into one till 2019.

 

[Frank24]

Hi there just wanted to say the start of your search can feel very overwhelming and this situation is massively complicated by COVid. My mum has gone into a care home in July after having live in care 24 7 for 2 years. I can’t see her at the moment but I would be more worried about her in the community due to risks associated with the way live in care works. I wouldn’t be that happy with the situation you describe... it is really difficult. I think the tipping point is when people start to wander.. not be safe in their own homes cooking etc x Good luck

 

[Shedrech]

hi @PinkSheep
a warm welcome to DTP

I think it's time to look into a move to residential care when you as the carer think it is ... most of us want our parent to remain in their own home for as long as possible, and maybe hang on too long ... though sometimes the move cannot be made until a crisis occurs as the person themselves refuses to accept a move

if you have LPAs in place and your mum will be self-funding, I suggest you start looking now and get your mum's name down on the waiting list of any homes you think are suitable
the link you've been given will help and this too
Find a care home | Care Quality Commission (cqc.org.uk)

and this may confirm the position re finances
Paying for care and support in England | Alzheimer's Society

I'm sure there will be good homes within the area you're considering ... however, members may not make specific recommendations on the forums

choosing a residential care home is down to the needs of the individual person and taking into account personal preferences .... I believe that competent, well trained, friendly staff make the home what it is for the residents, rather than hotel style accommodation (dad didn't notice furnishings etc but needed wide corridors with handrails on both sides) , though of course the place needs to be clean and tidy