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Moving to retirement property .

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Frederic H, Jun 15, 2015.

  1. Frederic H

    Frederic H Registered User

    Apr 1, 2015
    75
    Devon
    What worries me is if I go first my OH could not cope .So I am seriously looking to move to sheltered or retirement home where I know there is help available 24/7 if this happens.But of course firstly I have to get my OH to accept she has a problem.
    her view is I do what I do ,cook clean organise her day sort her pills walk the dog,iron only because I volunteered and she is too lazy !
    Has anyone else moved with this in mind and was it successful?
     
  2. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    #2 Pickles53, Jun 15, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2015
    I think it depends a lot on what type of retirement or assisted living complex you choose. My parents-in-law had a flat in a complex run by one of the big names in retirement housing (Mc****St****). It had a number of advantages, mainly that it didn't take much time to look after which made life easier for FIL and was secure if MIL (who had vascular dementia) wandered out of the flat. However, she would not have been able to cope there alone and would have needed carers to come in every day. The house manager did look out for residents and would knock on the door to check they were OK if he hadn't seen them every day or so, but that's as far as it went. He also had our phone number as we lived a long way away and I'm pretty sure would have called us if he thought they were having any problems.

    Watch out for the finances too. There are a lot of extra charges especially if you want to sell at a later date and it 's likely you would have to sell at less than the purchase price especially if you buy new. We are now renting out this flat having inherited it, as despite it being in a popular area for retirees the resale market was pretty flat.
     
  3. annie h

    annie h Registered User

    Jun 1, 2013
    148
    Pickles is right about retirement flats not being suitable if your OH with dementia is left on her own. She will be invited to leave if she becomes considered a risk to others in the flats. It makes no difference if you own it.

    Also consider whether you would be allowed to have a carer staying overnight for your OH if you may need it - this wasn't allowed in my Mum's flats even for those with a spare bedroom. This wasn't just an arbitrary rule of the company, I know some of the residents felt strongly about it too - they felt that those particular flats were intended for people who could live independently and didn't like the idea of people they didn't know being in the building overnight.

    On-site managers or wardens can mean multiple different things. If you are interested in having some support you need to investigate carefully what is on offer at each place individually.

    Although Pickles is right that you should think about exit fees, anybody who is asked for these nowadays should be objecting strongly if they are of the unreasonable kind (eg a percentage of the sale value). It shouldn't be necessary to agree to them. See e.g.http://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/SN05994/SN05994.pdf
    and if you can get hold of it the report by the now defunct OFT.
    I live in a high house price area and saved my mum over £10K by challenging hers.
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,439
    You might want to consider an extra care/very sheltered option. My mother was in one and there were several couples where one was well and the other wasn't. In my mother's case, the flats were built in the grounds of a nursing home and when it got to a point where she could no longer live "alone" the move to the nursing home was extremely easy.

    But not all facilities offer this option and you would have to be very careful about finding one who had no issue with dementia. In my mother's case her immobility made her a candidate when perhaps she might not have been had she been, for example, a wanderer.
     
  5. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    #5 Pickles53, Jun 16, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2015
    Just looked up the Mc**S** FAQs which are at least reasonably comprehensive and hopefully other developers have something similar. I think they actually had to change their policy on transfers of ownership after an OFT investigation. Questions 9 and 37 particularly interesting.

    http://www.mccarthyandstone.co.uk/faq/
     
  6. Frederic H

    Frederic H Registered User

    Apr 1, 2015
    75
    Devon
    moving to retirement property

    Thanks for that .I have discounted Mc & S already and have looked at villages where there is help available later on. I am aware that on final death the owners take as much as 10% of value.But that would nor be my problem!
     
  7. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,726
    North Somerset
    I don't know what part of the country you live in but there is an award winning retirement village not too far from here that has houses/apartments for the active retired with all kinds of amenities, restaurant, bowls, etc. This complex includes a dedicated CH with both general medical conditions and specialised dementia units, which seems an ideal situation as if this care is needed the carer can stay in their own home but be on site for their loved ones. As you can imagine, this is not cheap but has an excellent reputation. Hope you find a solution.
     

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